(Eng.) Stupid Anxiety – 2 [Insecurity]

 

Author: Ssihobitt

Category: Chapter, Married Life, Fluff, A slice of Life

Main Cast: Han Sera & Cho Kyuhyun

She’s been waiting outside of his office for almost half an hour and the one she’s waiting for hasn’t get off work just yet even though his working hour has ended. This is typical Kyuhyun, whenever he gets attach to a case, he’ll devoted most of his life for that and sometimes forgotten some little things along the way—today’s case is he’s forgetting his dinner date with his own wife.

She can enter and interrupts him of course, but she hates the annoyed look in his face whenever his focus distracted and she doesn’t want to worsen her mood by looking at his frowning face. Han Sera leans on the edge of a vegetation wall in front of his office building and decided to waste more of her time by playing silly games in her phone.

Cho Kyuhyun steps out of his office and he slams his own temple after seeing his wife sitting outside the building, busies herself with her phone and wearing not thick enough clothing to protect her from the chill autumn wind. He feels like an asshole lately to Sera since he’s not really able to spend much time with her and now he’s forgetting their planned date and let his wife waiting outside for him.

“Sera-ya.” He puts down his brief case then takes off his own coat to cover her, “How long have you been here? Why don’t you call or come inside, huh?”

Sera lifts her head, staring into the man she loves with a look that silently breaks his heart in the inside. Kyuhyun knows he messed up one more time and Han Sera still manage to smile sweetly for him. “I didn’t want to interrupt, I had fun anyway.” She lifts her hand phone and show off her level-up progress to him, “I jumped five stages already!” She grins and tries to hide her sadness.

He exhales, how could this woman think she can fool him by pretending not to be bothered by his rudeness. “I don’t even have any excuse for you.” He smiles bitterly, “Let’s go grab dinner, you must be starving waiting in this cold weather.”

“I want to eat good barbeque and I want a lot of first grade beef!!” She gets up and links her hand in the crook of his elbow.

“Sure, let’s go the usual place then. Shall we get your favorite apple pie afterwards also?”

“Ng. I deserve that after I waited that long.”

Kyuhyun rounds his arm on her shoulder and give her a peck on the cheek, “I let you down again, didn’t I?”

She scoffs and turns it into an awkward laugh, “What are you saying, I came too early. Don’t worry about me, I told you I had a great time leveling up in the game.” She avoids his stare, “Let’s just go now, I’m famished.”

She’s enjoying every little time they both can spend intimately together since it’s now become a rare occasion. His own practice turned out to be a great idea and he got a lot of business from many divorce-seeking people in the past year. He started it all alone and now his little agency has two apprentice that’s ready to help him to take on mild cases. The problem about his job, however, is the fact that he needed to get involves in investigating his clients background and it usually takes his off-work time.

Sera doesn’t complain much but she’s honestly really bothered by the loneliness created without him around. She doesn’t like to say it, but she admits to herself that she liked it better when Kyuhyun still worked to someone else, when all the burden of his job doesn’t rely on his shoulders alone. He was always beside her when she was sick and now it’s almost hard to casually have dinner in the proper time with him.

It’s not like Kyuhyun do it on purpose, he hates his own working time and he hates his perfectionist self that force him to excel in every case. He hates leaving her behind in the house, he always blames himself whenever he comes home late and find her already asleep without even manage to say goodnight to her, he hates how her effort in cooking dinner for him now mostly turns into their breakfast the next day, and don’t even get him started on their sex life—he can’t remember the last time they were intimate enough to proceed further.

As a divorce lawyer, he knows this condition is the early stage for a crack in the marriage and he’s been trying to fix this up by decreasing his working schedule, but his clients grow and he need to bring food to the table so he doesn’t really have much choice.

“How was your day?” He breaks the silent between them as soon as they get themselves into their favorite BBQ restaurant.

She lifts her shoulders, “As usual. I clean up, cooked lunch for myself, watch TV, read a book, just the boring everyday stuff. How’s yours?”

“I got one more applicant for the intern position, I think I have to train him.” He pours water to their glasses and offers that to Sera. “Thankfully my clients have grown and I really need some more help.”

“Will that mean you’ll work less?” She lifts her eyebrow. The sarcasm in her tone is unavoidable.

He looks down to the table and shakes his head, “I’ll get some free time soon but I really have to train the new guy and I must investigate my client’s property in Incheon tomorrow.”

“Ahh, so you’ll come home late again?”

“I think I’ll spend the night there.”

Sera slams her glass to the table and gets his full attention.

“Ya Cho Kyuhyun! How far is Incheon from here anyway? You can go back and forth within two hours by car for God’s sake.”

“I know, but it’s about a shipping container and the assets is being delivered at night time..”

“You know what you should hire? A detective, not a lawyer.” She lowers her voice when the ahjumma delivers their meat onto the table. She takes the brisket they ordered and begin cooking it on top of the stove in the middle of the table.

“I’m considering that, Sera-ya. But for now I can’t really trust anyone to do that for me.”

She doesn’t answer but release her anger to the meat that’s now starting to get brown on the stove.

“Are you mad?” He asks stupidly.

Sera lifts her eyes from the meat and glares cynically at her husband. “I think you’ve forgotten what you are, Kyu. You’re a lawyer, not Sherlock Holmes.”

“I know that, but..”

“Dweso.” She takes the medium cooked meat into her own bowl instead of giving it to him as she supposed to. “Cook your own meat, I’m too starving to take care of yours.”

She bites into her food in anger and Kyuhyun knows it’s the perfect time for him to keep his silence and do as she asked.

“By the way, my mom is asking if you can accompany her tomorrow to attend her monthly gathering.” He carefully asks her favor.

“Ng, I know, she called me and I agreed. It’s better to spend time with oemoni than being alone at home anyway.” More cynical answer gets out of her.

He nods and takes her scolding with a calm look that’s always frames his face. “Thank you.”

Sera only shrugs to him.

“I’ll fix my mess.”

“Don’t make a promise you can’t keep, Kyu. I hate those kind of people.” She bites more into her food, “Just eat quietly shall we?”

*

The day she’s spending with Kyuhyun’s mom is actually a day she really enjoys. Her in laws always treat her like she’s their own daughter and she can feel the love from them, especially since she hasn’t get in touch with her own parents for years since her own parents decided to disown her when she left without a trace during her early treatment. It’s not the first time Sera accompany Mrs. Cho in one of her social gathering so she’s not a stranger anymore to the women in the group circle.

Just like any other woman social gathering, they will begin the brunch with a simple talk and some of the rich will try to nonchalantly show-off their new designer handbags or shoes that sometimes doesn’t really fit them—but they bought it anyway for the pride. After the food distributes the talk usually shift to the food on their plate and some of them brags that they can make a better version of it. If the gathering takes place in an international restaurant, some of those who traveled will begin to say things like ‘when I was in.. I had the most authentic food..’ to brag more about their abilities to travel.

After they finish their food, they will start to talk about themselves, how their kids are, how their husbands are and the part Sera avoids the most—how their grandchildren are.

Sera always wanted to be a mother and she almost get the miracle she wanted in her first marriage until she miscarried and thing gone worst from that point. However, Kyuhyun strongly refuse the idea of them having a child. He’d always tells her that he enjoys their life just the two of them and he doesn’t want to add another member into their family. To him, having a kid is a nuisance and he dislike the idea of having a little person messing around their tidy house.

His parents of course informed about this and they still support whatever choice he makes in his life, to them it’s not a big deal if their only son decided not to breed—as long as he’s happy—so they never pressure Kyuhyun and Sera to get them any grandchildren.

Society however, beg to differ. Their marriage was frowned upon at first because of his single status that went against the fact that she’s a divorcee. But after two years of marriage and not a single baby pops out of Sera, the family friends tend to points that matters more these days.

And today is one of those days.

“Sera-ssi, Even Mrs. Lee already got her third grandkids aren’t you going to give one to your lovely mother-in-law?” One of the nosy ahjumma attacks her in between the talk.

All heads turn to her and the silence in the round table clearly show how curious they are with her marriage life.

“Aish, her husband is busy, maybe they haven’t got a time to be intimate.” Another lady responds.

“Ey! That can’t be! They’re both young and hot blooded, I bet they do it every day.” Another lady jumps into the conversation with a perverted laugh.

Sera smiles awkwardly.

As if! He hasn’t touched me in weeks! She adds in her heart.

“They’re enjoying the early stages of their marriage, let them be. I don’t see that as a necessary thing anyway.” Mrs. Cho taps on Sera’s back to encourage her. “Having another member in my family is already a blessing, I didn’t even think my son would want to get married.” She adds to divert their attention to her instead of to Sera.

“Mrs. Cho, even my daughter gets it right in the first try on her first night! And now I have three grandchildren already, maybe your son should try harder.”

Sera transfer her anger into her napkin that’s placed on top of her lap, she hates this kind of conversation. When other people are to nosy about another’s business in order to divert their attention from their own miserable life. Today she’s the soft target and she didn’t come prepared, if it wasn’t for her mother-in-law, maybe she would have get up and leave the room altogether.

“Mrs. Lee, maybe your daugther’s vision of life is different from my son and his wife…”

“But you’re not even working, right Sera-ssi?” Mrs. Lee cut off Mrs.cho defend for Sera. “I wonder how dull your everyday life is, just waiting for your husband to go home. No work, no child, nothing, whoa I begin to understand now why you enjoy not having a child around—it’s a luxury to just sit back and relax then spend your husband’s money.”

“That’s enough Mrs. Lee! You should apologized to my daughter-in-law, what you said could’ve hurt her..”

Sera places her hand on top of Kyuhyun’s mom next to her to stop her from defending her daughter-in-law. “Gwenchana oemoni, I’m sure that’s how people see it.” She’s fighting the tears that begins to form on her eyelid—no matter how hurt she is; she won’t show defeat in front of the mean ahjumma. “Kyuhyun and me are trying our best, please pray for us so we can receive heaven’s blessing also.” She politely nods her head.

The two ladies are now sitting in a coffee shop near the previous restaurant they’re hanging out in earlier. After the mean comments from her mates, Mrs. Cho decided to take Sera out of there with excuse that they planned to go shopping as her effort to released Sera from her own hell.

“I’m so sorry, I won’t take you to any of my gathering anymore.” She rubs Sera’s hand on the table.

“It’s okay oemoni, it’s not like we have to declare how he despise the thought of having a child in his life anyway.”

“But I hate how people put the blame on you. I’m a housewife too, Sera-ya, I know how offensive her words earlier, cih, just stay at home and spend your husband’s money. As if the house will clean itself if we’re not there!” Mrs. Cho begins to throws her rage.

“Ne,” Sera chuckles, “She also think those laundries will fold itself and the food magically appears from the fridge.”

Mrs. Cho can’t help not to give out a little laugh to Sera’s own attempt to comfort herself.

“Are you okay, though? With how stubborn he is about the child?”

Sera takes her tea and slowly sips into it while thinking the best answer to that.

“As a woman I’m sure you understand how much I want to be a mother.” She clears her throat, “But at the same time I’m really having a great time with him. I failed a marriage once oemoni and I don’t want to cause ruckus over something that I agreed with him long before we tied the knot. If the two of us is enough for him, then I’ll make that work—as long as he’ll stay by my side.” The distant look in her eyes clearly shows how much she tries to suppress her own feeling.

Mrs. Cho drinks down her iced tea and leans closer to tap Sera’s shoulder. “I’m so blessed having you as my dauther-in-law. My stupid son would’ve handle his own divorce paper if it’s another woman.”

Sera force herself to smile, “I love him, oemoni.”

“I know, thank you.” She squeezes Sera’s hands on the table, “I just really wish he could get rid of his fear of you collapsing one more time if you get pregnant.”

“Ne?”

Mrs. Cho quickly shuts her mouth as she accidentally said something Sera should never hear.

“What did you say oemoni?”

“Nothing.”

“Oemoni, please. I heard you.” Sera stares at Mrs. Cho with her most intimidating look in the hope the lady will open up to her.

“Aish! I shouldn’t say it.” She slaps her own mouth in panic.

“Oemoni?”

Mrs. Cho understands she can’t fool Sera so she reveals the big secret in the end.

*

It’s unusual for Kyuhyun to arrive to the empty house, usually Han Sera would greet him and gladly announce their dinner menu. Today Kyuhyun canceled his plan to go to Incheon and put on his alarm so he doesn’t forget to get off work on time in order to make amends to his wife about the amount of time he spent at work. To find that Sera is not arrived at the home just yet is rather odds for him. He takes his phone and calls his wife and she answers not long after.

“Ng Kyu?” She sounds breathless.

“Are you okay? You sound..”

“I’m exercising.” She answers, “I’m at the park near our house, are you home already? Aissh.. I’m sorry, I’ll go home now.”

“Ani, it’s okay, I’ll come after you.”

“Really?”

“Ng, I need some fresh air anyway. Do you want me to bring something?”

“Hmm.. a coat would be nice, I forgot to bring mine.”

“Reckles as always Han Sera.” He rolls his eyes, “Fine, wait for me.”

Minutes later he arrived on the park while Sera’s busy using one of the sport equipment in the park to strengthen her muscles. She looks like she’s having a great time judging from the shine in her eyes. She waives her hand cheerfully once she spots him then she stops her activity to approach Kyuhyun.

“I assumed you forgot to bring some water and a towel also.” Kyuhyun offers her the stuff he mentioned.

She smiles, “Am I that easy to figure out?”

“No, you’re that reckless.” He taps her face with the towel in his hand. “You don’t over-exercise yourself, do you?”

“No, I just jogged and used that equipment to freshen up. It’s stuffy at home.” She points to the park bench and sit on it. “Sorry I didn’t cook, I thought you said you’re staying in Incheon.”

“It’s okay, we can grab dinner outside.” He covers Sera with the coat he brought from home, “I wanted to surprise you actually that’s why I didn’t say I’d go home on time.”

Sera doesn’t answer to him, she’s still too angry with what she heard today from his mother. She went to get some exercise is also as a way to release her anger, she can’t believe after three good years of improvement in her health, Kyuhyun still doesn’t believe her.

“How was brunch with my mom?” He picks the first topic came to his mind, a wrong one.

Sera gulps more of her water, “It was okay.”

“Anything worth mentioning?”

“Nope.”

He nods, sensing something is odds from her disclosed body language.

“Look at that,” Sera points to the kids that’s playing on the playground in the park, “They’re so cute, playing as there’s no tomorrow while their mother carefully watch their every move from the side.”

She has no idea why she thinks bringing up this topic will be a great idea, what she knows is she’s angry and she demands answer from Kyuhyun. She’s just trying to make her way subtler.

Kyuhyun takes a look into the direction she pointed and he scoffs softly, “Are we going to talk about that again?”

“Can we?”

“I don’t want kids.” His command is short and clear. “I thought we already came to a same understanding.”

She takes a deep breath while still trying to sound calm, “And what that understanding would be?”

“That it’s going to be only the two of us.”

“Remind me again, why don’t you want kids?”

“They’re noisy, annoying, you can’t take your attention away from them for one second unless you want your house to look like a mess, I hate kids, even when I was a kid, I hate kids!” He turns his body slightly to get a better look at his wife, “Why are we discussing it again, Sera-ya?”

“Because I want one.” She pouts her mouth. “It’s lonely to be alone in our home while waiting for you to come home, Kyu. I…”

“Andwe!”

“Ya!”

“No.”

Sera gets up from her seat and stomps her foot like a child in front of him. “WHY?”

“I DON’T WANT TO.”

“BECAUSE YOU’RE AFRAID IT’LL KILL ME?”

He’s taken aback by her words and now he gets up to be level be her.

“You’re afraid I will scar my ventricle again if I get pregnant, don’t you? That’s why you don’t want to have kids with me.” Her voice begins to tremble.

“Han Sera..”

“I declared cured, Kyu! You were there with me when Doctor Song said that. She didn’t recommend me to get pregnant too quickly but she never said I shouldn’t!”

Kyuhyun is now lost for words, his mind tries to work fast enough to catch up with her tantrum. Why Sera talks about this out of the sudden? They’ve buried this matter long before they tied the knot and suddenly it arises again.

“You’re at work all the time! You said you’ll make time for me but that only happened a few days in a whole month and what right do I have to tell you not to do your work since you work hard for me also. But I feel useless Kyu! All I do at home is lounging and resting and cooking and it’s boring!”

“AND YOU THINK BRINGING A CHILD WILL MAKE EVERYTHING BETTER?!” He’s not aware that he’s raising his voice to her. “YES I DON’T WANT A KID BECAUSE I DON’T WANT YOU TO GET PREGNANT! I DON’T WANT TO CAUSE ANY HARM TO YOU HAN SERA! DO YOU THINK I CAN GO THROUGH WHAT WE WENT THROUGH THREE YEARS AGO FOR ONE MORE TIME?! NO!! I CAN’T EVEN AFFORD ANOTHER HEART FOR YOU IF YOU NEED ONE! SO FORGIVE ME, IF I DON’T WANT TO RISK OUR LIFE TOGETHER JUST TO HAVE KIDS!”

He rarely gets mad at her but once he does, it always too awful to handle for her.

“I SWEAR TO GOD HAN SERA, DON’T PUSH MY LIMIT ABOUT THIS! I CAN COMPROMISE WITH YOU, BUT NOT ABOUT THIS. NOT WHEN YOUR LIFE IS AT STAKE!”

“SO I SHOULD JUST BE YOUR TROPHY WIFE?! I SHOULD JUST WAIT FOR YOU TO COME FROM WORK—IF YOU COME HOME FROM WORK?! I SHOULD BE THAT SWEET WIFE THAT COOKS EVERYNIGHT…”

“I NEVER ASKED YOU TO!”

She already feels bad the whole day, but having her husband saying that he never asked her to be the vision of a good wife in her head has really torn her pride. As if what she’s been doing for him all two years they’ve been married were nothing—as if it didn’t matter that much if she’s not there. Tears falls freely from her eyes as her body begins to tremble from the anger she feels throughout.

Kyuhyun feels like somebody just stab a sharp dagger into his heart. Han Sera is now hurt and crying—all because of him. He’s no longer Kyuhyun that protects her from harm, he’s now the harm in her life and it seems like the more he tries to fix his mistake, the more pain he actually costs her.

“Sera-ya.. I’m sorry. i..”

“I want to go home.” She takes some step from him but Kyuhyun hold on to her hand, asking her to stay behind to talk their problems through.

“I’m at fault, Sera-ya.”

“Forget it Kyu, I really need to go home.” She wards off his hand that’s grabbing her arms, “I don’t want to cry in public, it’s embarrassing.” She pulls herself away from him. “Please.”

*

Sera has taken more than half an hour in the shower and Kyuhyun knows she’s not busy cleaning up. He knew he messed up big time and he’s hurt her deepest feeling by saying those words without even considering how it’ll affect her. He had slap her with his mean words when he said he doesn’t want a kid from her and he made it worse by saying he never asked her to do the wonderful things she’s been doing for him all these time. He sits across the bathroom door and leans his back to the cold wall while he’s trying to maintain his own cry. What he just done to Sera is something he never thought he’d do and yet here they are.

After he calm himself a little bit, he gets up and knock on the door, begging Sera to get out and she’s still not answering.

“I’ll come in, okay?” He turns the keyless knob and enters the bathroom.

The water is still running from the shower and Han Sera is sitting on the floor with her knees presses to her body and her head hidden in the folds of her crossed arms. Kyuhyun takes a dry towel, turns off the water and cover his wife’s naked body with the big towel as he kneels in front of her.

“You’ll catch a cold if you do this.” He takes another towel near them and covers her wet hair with it. “Let’s get you warm, ne?”

He carefully lifts her body and takes her into their warm bedroom to put her on their bed. He takes Sera’s room robe and covers her with it after he finished drying her whole body.

He nervously sits beside her, he doesn’t dare to look into her eyes since he knows how much despair stores in them. She’s only staring ahead without much expression, she’s no longer crying but the emptiness in her eyes doesn’t make anything better either.

“You can scold me all you want, Sera-ya. I deserved it.” He finally speaks up.

Sera stays silent while she lets another tears fall down.

He quickly wipes the tears on his wife’s face, cursing himself for letting his fear led him this far. Of course Cho Kyuhyun wants a child from her, of course he wants to build a family with her and even though he really doesn’t like kids, he thinks it’ll be different if the kid is his own—especially if the kid is their kid. But as much as Kyuhyun wants to have the perfect family with her, he also knows her limitation. Her treatment that she underwent three years ago started from her getting pregnant and who can guarantee it won’t happen again to her? Kyuhyun rather imagine their life as the two of them till they grow old, instead of him without Sera for the rest of his life.

He loves her too much he becomes too selfish, he wants her for himself and he’ll fight whatever come in their way—even if it’s in a form of a baby.

“I’m sorry Kyu.” She finally says something.

“I’m the one that should apologize.”

“I’m sorry I can’t be a better wife for you.” She bites her lips to divert the intangible pain in her heart into something more physical.

“Sera, please don’t..” He slides from the bed and kneels in front of her, “Please don’t say that. You’re great Sera-ya. I can’t imagine having another person to be by my side, please..”

“I must have been a huge burden to you all these time, right?”

“Sera..”

“Otherwise you won’t explode the way you just did.” Her body trembles even more, “I’m sorry Kyu, I’m trying, I do..”

“I know. I know you do and I’m grateful for that.” He can’t help his own tears from falling. “I was frustrated with your idea of having a kid that I begin to freak out and that just slips out of my mouth. I hurt you badly and I don’t even know if I deserve your forgiveness.”

“Is having a kid with me really that bad of an idea? Are you afraid that I’ll die during carrying our child? Or maybe I’d miscarried again? Or maybe you’re afraid I’ll transfer my bad genes to our baby?”

Kyuhyun shakes his head. No, he never thinks that far, he just wanted her to be safe and his version of saving her is not to get her pregnant.

Sera lifts her hand to wipe the tears on his face, even though she’s hurting she doesn’t like the sight of her husband weeping painfully the way he does. As much as she hurt by him earlier, Sera also knows that Kyuhyun’s hurting in the inside too. She knows he loves her, he just showed it in a wrong way and his way has led them to have this very conversation at the moment.

“It’s okay Kyu. Honestly I was just frustrated with our life latel..”

“I’m trying to fix it, Sera-ya.”

“Let me explain, please. Ng?” She cups his face with her hands. “Your schedule, it begins to get out of hands Kyu and I hate that you still haven’t consider to get yourself a male assistant to help you out. I spend most of my time in this place and it’s suffocating sometimes.  You come home very late and we barely communicate to each other and let’s admit that our sex life is drier than Sahara Desert, you don’t have to worry about me getting pregnant since we don’t even make love anymore.”

Kyuhyun nods, knowing what she’s saying are all true.

“Today however, my patience was tested in the form of nosy ahjumma. I know I should ignore them, but I have ears and I can clearly hear what they said to me Kyu, and it hurts.” She snorts her watery nose and use the fabric on her shoulder to wipe her tears. “It hurts because it’s right what they said and I hated that I can’t say it to their face that you don’t want a child from me..”

“I don’t want a child in general, Sera.”

“Still.” She sobs for some more, “Your mother fought for me today, she fought to safe my pride and I’m so grateful to have her with me earlier but.. I don’t even know if I still have my pride as a woman in your eyes, while everything I did was useless to you.”

Kyuhyun really wants to give himself a punch in the gut and in his face, this is not the first time his quick tongue has hurt somebody but this person in front of him is not the one he should attack—ever. It won’t matter anymore how many apologies he says to her, or how many times he explains to her that he didn’t mean the message to be received that way, he already incised a deep wound in her heart and there’s no going back from that.

“I guess the best time to talk about this is not tonight, Kyu.” She sighs, “It’ll be one of those argument where we both cry and both of us try to apologized to each other—a bottomless pit.”

He nods, agreeing with her. it’s no use discussing this matter now since they both are still too consume with their own despair.

“Hey, we haven’t had dinner yet, do you want me to make you something or we should call a delivery?” Sera tries to make herself sounds more cheerful as she gets up from the bed and leave Kyuhyun kneeling still in his position.

Kyuhyun gets up and quickly grabs her arms then pulls her towards him. He holds her really close while trapping her whole body in his. He lowers his head down to the curve of her neck to rest it there. Sera is the one that’s hurt yet he’s the one that’s crying now.

“I didn’t mean to say it like that.” He whispers in between his tears, “Because to me, you are perfect and I don’t want to change a thing about us. You have to know that, Sera-ya. Don’t you dare to degrade yourself like that because of the rage I thrown at you. I’m the one who should be ashamed, not you. I’m the one that can’t keep my promise to keep you happy.”

Sera slowly rounds her arms onto his back and uses her right hand to pats his back, “I know Kyu. You don’t have to explain yourself to me, I already know.”

“What have I done to deserve you Sera-ya.” He enfolds her even closer and he kisses her on the side of her head.

“Kyu, please let’s talk about it the next time, ne? I’m tired feeling like crap the whole day. I want to at least relax at night without thinking about the problem that’s been bugging me all day.” Sera push herself away from him and runs her fingers on his face to wipe the remaining tears he has on his face. “Please, can we pause this for tonight?”

“I owe you big time, don’t I?”

She nods, “Big time.”

“Any idea how to make it less bad?”

She takes a deep breath, not sure if her idea considers good enough for him. “Can you take some days off work, Kyu?”

He stares at her stupidly, he just carved a deep cut into her heart and all she really asks from him is some time away from work. How ignorant has he been all these time for not being able to tell that what she really needs is him to be beside her.

“Is that too much to ask?” a frown draws on her face.

“No, let’s go on a holiday.”

“Really?” The clouds in her eyes erases a little bit.

“Ng, I’ll make some time. I promise, I’ll make this up to you.” He pulls her back into his embrace, “it won’t change what said and done, but I’ll make this up to you.”

tbc…

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7 thoughts on “(Eng.) Stupid Anxiety – 2 [Insecurity]

  1. Seo HaYeon says:

    Even in the end I hesitate with Kyu! Would he really (can) take his day off? So sad read this part! The conflicts U make is such a perfect all bitter combination hehe *wahtIsaid* 😛 But here I am so glad to know you have posted something again, kakak. I’m worried before And sure I thought ‘Uri author must be so busy” even I planned myself to email U but I’m worried it’ll disturb U.. I also asked myself and had such feeling ‘is there anything wrong in my email?’ haha just really miss U so bad kakak wkkk 😀

    Liked by 1 person

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