Category: Chapter, Angst, NC-21
Main Cast: Kang Seulri & Cho Kyuhyun
Supporting Cast: Ok Taecyeon
He doesn’t know how many hours had passed while he’s waiting patiently in the operation waiting room. Taecyeon still mumbling his prayers while his heart still refused the power of a mightier being above him. His eyes are blank and he just stared helplessly into the grey wall in front of him.
He really couldn’t imagine how bad her injuries are, especially after he received an email from his insurance agent regarding the condition of his car.
The Mini Cooper he lent to Seulri was deformed so badly that it doesn’t look like its original design anymore. The front and back windshields was shattered but not broken while the driver’s side crushed far into the mid part of the little car. He can imagine how her body was also crushed violently the way his car was and what really made him speechless was the picture of its surrounding.
He sees scattered little glasses and some car parts that thrown apart from the impact, but what really tear his heart was the pool of blood that still remained on the tarmac. To imagine that much blood had drown out from her little body has made him slightly pessimistic with her chance inside.
But he knew she’s a strong woman and she knew Seulri is now fighting her best to stay alive.
He makes up a plan while he waits. He would take her away from here, away from Seoul and away from the person that had torn her heart apart. He once promised Seulri to stand by her side if she made a bad choice in life or if her life turned upside down one more time. He promised to take cover for her and he promised to shield her from harm.
He can’t really do all those heroic speeches for her at the moment, because it’s a battle that Seulri has to fight for herself. But if she wins the fight, he will take her into his life and he will do his best to give a better second life for the only woman he ever loved.
Kang Seulri locked the front door of the restaurant she worked at once she finished mopped the floor and took the last dishes back to the right place. She should go home after she’s done but it’s been almost a week since she kept avoiding going home too early. She knew his schedule very well and the day was a day when he got his morning shift, which meant he’d be home around this hour—and it’s bad for Seulri.
Instead of going home, she climbed the stairs to the rooftop of the restaurant and decided to enjoyed the autumn night while trying to spot the stars. Maybe she could cool her mind over the matters that bothered her lately, maybe she’d find some peace that she needed or maybe it could help her to avoid him even longer. Judging from what happened last weekend, Seulri knew Kyuhyun has been trying to reach out for her, he called her, he texted her, and left some notes on her door telling her to come see him whenever she got the time. She bet herself that Kyuhyun was trying to explain his situation to her, she knew he’d apologized for what happened and one other thing she knew was that Kyuhyun would do the right thing for them—and she didn’t like the prospect of the right thing.
Not when she just reminded how happy she could be around him, not when she finally remembered how to draw a genuine smile on her face, not when her life seemed to be aligned in a correct place. She needed more time.
She leaned onto the fence that surrounded the deck on the rooftop, stared blankly ahead to Seoul’s city light as she questioned herself whether she should stop being selfish or if she could bargain one more time with her fate. She didn’t ask for much, just a little bit more time before she ready to take a step back from his life.
“What are you still doing here? You should go home.” A man’s voice interrupted her deep thought.
Kang Seulri startled a little and quickly search for the source of the voice, a tall man came closer with two bottles of beer in his hand, offered one to her with a smile on his face.
“What are you doing here?” She recognized her new boss—Ok Taecyeon.
Right after she resigned from the Gentlemen’s Club, Lee Hyukjae kept his promised to find proper job for Seulri and she landed a waitressing job right away in the restaurant not too far from the club. She was puzzled at first on her job because the wage she received was above average for any waitressing job anywhere in Seoul, and only after two days she figured out that the place she worked at actually one of Taecyeon’s business branches.
“Regular monthly check, I noticed the roof light still on, take a look and turned out it was you.” He gave the bottle to her and Seulri took it from his hand with a simple thank you nod.
“Is something bothering you?” He took his place next to her and followed her to lean on the fence.
Seulri shook her head but she knew she didn’t fool him. He’s been the person where she told her hardship in the past six years. He started as her client but quietly became her best friend and her support system along the way, to the point where he fell in love with her in the end.
“Come on, it’s me.” He gulped his beer and nudge her with his elbow. “What’s the worst story you could tell me anyway.”
She inhaled deeply and gulped the beer on her hand, finished the whole bottle all at once and she clucked her mouth once she finished. “Aish. I hate it when you’re right.”
He chuckled, “About?” He offered the bottle in his hand.
“About me.” Seulri grabbed another bottle from him and drink the whole content.
He observed her, judging from her behavior Kang Seulri must be facing some difficulties and seeing how restless she was, Taecyeon knew it must have something to do with that man.
“You’re right Taec, I became greedy. I let my longing towards him controlled me, I followed my heart instead of my brain and before I knew it, I fell even deeper for the man and I don’t know if I can free myself from this selfish desire that I have.” She blurted out.
“How is it?” He turned his body to look at her.
Seulri then took her time to tell Taecyeon what happened between them last weekend, how they enjoyed their short gateway and how perfect it was for both of them. Seulri then told him about the little inconvenience waited at home once they arrived, how she was still lucky enough to be able to avoid a disaster of meeting his mom. She told him how she spent her day out on the bench of a bus stop, long enough until she believed his family wouldn’t be there anymore when she returned home.
“I thought it was bad enough already, but nooo..” She rolled her eyes and chuckled cynically, “Later that night, I was busy minding my own business when my door was knocked. Obviously I thought it was him that was on my door so I braced myself for his apologies—then turned out it’s actually his girlfriend that knocked.”
Taecyeon still paid close attention to her words, didn’t want to interrupt her until she finished with her story.
“She invited me downstairs, said that they’re having a party. I was dumbfounded but I was too tired to think of a reason to avoid it so I followed her.” She took her deep breath again as her way to calm herself, “Aish I really have no idea where to tell you this.” She tugged her own hair in frustration.
Taecyeon took the bottle from her hand and placed in on the floor, “Try to tell from the beginning.”
She placed her elbow on the fence and place her head on her crossed arms, looked into him and with a heavy heart she began her story.
“So she dragged me into his house, when I entered they already prepared some meats on the table with beers and soju—it’s obviously a barbeque party. I could tell by the look on his face that I was the last person he wanted to see that night, he kept on avoiding my eyes and he stayed silent throughout the night. I didn’t really understand what the party was for, so I asked.” Seulri stopped as she gathered her courage to continue.
“Shall I grab you another beer?” Taecyeon offered.
She shook her head and continued, “That woman announced that it’s their family engagement party. She explained that earlier that day, Kyuhyun and his family came by her house to talked about their future together. She got a research grant to the USA for a year so her family wanted to officiate their relationship before she goes and they came to the agreement of an engagement.”
Taecyeon could see how the shine in her eyes dimmed the further she told her story. If it’s up to him, he would like to see Cho Kyuhyun himself and punch the man in the head to get some conscience out of him. The girl in front him were helplessly in love with the man and she came to the lowest point where she felt she didn’t deserve to be with the man she loved. Taecyeon wished that if Kyuhyun really couldn’t give Seulri another chance, he would at least have a heart not to hurt her.
“I told you that I didn’t want to go further than just being around him, didn’t I?” Her voice began to tremble.
“I told you that it’s impossible, right?”
She nodded, “I want him Taec. I want him so bad. He’s the cure for this pain I felt as I grew up, I laid my hopes and dreams in his hands, I knew I won’t die without him but I never knew that I could feel so alive when he’s near me, and I was happy. For once I forgotten about my father’s condition, I forgotten about that nasty job I had, I forgotten how hard my life had been only by being with him. He’s like a drug to me and I’m addicted to him.”
“So go and get him, it’s not like she’s married to him yet.” He lifted his shoulders.
Seulri scoffed, “You know what? That night she said she was so happy with their new status but still feel sad a little bit, because he hasn’t officially proposed to her. Because Kyuhyun hasn’t go down on his knees to really asked her to marry her. That’s why she said it’s their family engagement and not their official engagement.”
Taecyeon shook his head with his eyebrows curled, “Woman are complicated, it sounded the same to me.”
Seulri took her head down and whispered, “It sounded different to me. To me it means he still refused to the idea. He told me himself that he didn’t love her, that he’s bored with her and that he’d take his time to leave her.” She smirked cynically, “And I slightly feel happy for her being naïve like that. The devil in me think that this might be my chance to take back what’s mine.”
He placed his hand on her shoulder and use the other hand to lift her chin, he needed to take a good look into her eyes, he needed a solid prove that those words really just flew out of her mouth.
“I’m a bad person aren’t I?” She bit her trembling lips.
He nodded but smiled weakly, “Seulri-ya, I won’t judge you for what you said because I’m a strong believer in the phrases ‘all is fair in love and war’.”
She pursed her lips and tried to smile at him, thanked him for the way he tried to comfort her.
“Are you torn in between good Seulri and bad Seulri now?”
She nodded. “What should I do? If I continue to meddle in between them and broke them apart he and I might have a chance to be together, but one day he’d be really disappointed at me for my past. But I think I would be living in hell if I just swallow this fact and pretend it didn’t hurt me. Taec, I want him to get the best and I know I’m not the best one for him, but why my heart feels so heavy? What happen to ‘I’ll be happy as long as you’re happy’ bullshit that I should declare to him?”
He grabbed her by both of her shoulders, “I will support whatever way you choose, and if something bad comes out as the result of your choice, I will stand by you and take cover for you—I’ll still be here when you change your mind, Seul. But I want you to know, I didn’t give you up only to have you wondering ‘what if’.”
“What do you mean?”
“The truth is, no matter what you do, you are going to disappoint someone, so you might as well do what you want. Say yes to the things and people that make you feel loved and exited and say no to what doesn’t. You’re given one chance and one chance only to live in this world, cherish what you can and ignore the rest.”
With her unsure and wobbly steps, Kang Seulri managed to dragged herself back home. The conversation she had with Taecyeon earlier had really woke up the demon inside her. Yes, she doesn’t want to put more problems into Kyuhyun’s life, she wanted him to be with the person that’s equal to him—smart and dignified, she wanted to be able to say such thing as ‘I just want to see you happy’ bullshit to him. But she knew it’s not what she felt inside—and she knew he’s not happy with the one that’s standing beside him.
The truth is, no matter what you do, you are going to disappoint someone, so you might as well do what you want. Say yes to the things and people that make you feel loved and exited and say no to what doesn’t. You’re given one chance and one chance only to live in this world, cherish what you can and ignore the rest. Taecyeon’s words still lingered in her head.
She pulled her hair in frustration, should she be the selfish bitch that mess up with his life or should she just disappear quietly the way she did back then? The thing was, she knew Kyuhyun felt the same thing, something in her mind told her that all she needed to do was ask him to leave that girl and Kyuhyun would do that immediately yet she couldn’t bring herself to do that. Because she knew once her truth came up, Kyuhyun would leave her and only by then he would really need Oh Jinae to be beside him—and Seulri didn’t want to mess his chance of being with someone that perfect.
His car in the driveway is something she noticed at once when she arrived in their building. Seulri felt the beating in her heart got faster as she took her steps towards her rooftop house, her mind went back and forth with several options and scenarios she conducted along the way and she just didn’t know which one is the best one to proceed.
She stopped her steps on the fourth floor, just stood frozen in front of his door with her hand trembling as she wondered if she should ring the bell or not. It’s past midnight and he should rest by the time—that’s the best case scenario, or he’s resting with his girlfriend at the moment and it’d be very awkward if she interrupted them at this hour, or could he be doing something else that kept him awake so it’ll be appropriate for her to ring the bell? Should she have prepared a reason before interrupting him? something like borrowing his sugar or asked for some eggs, but she shrugged her shoulder in shame with her own silly thoughts.
And when she’s just about to took her steps away, his front door opened up with the man she’s been meaning to see stood right behind it.
Seulri noticed he just finished showering as he still dried up his wet and messy hair with the little towel in his hand, she knew he was ready to go to bed judging from the checkered pajama pants and black v-neck shirt he was wearing. His face looked tired and the look in his eyes only confirmed his misery.
They looked at each other for a second, both surprised with the little inconvenient meeting. He’s was just planning to go upstairs to knock on her door, he had enough of her avoidance and he felt like he needed to talk to her.
“Oppa, I thought you’re sleeping.” She said weakly.
“I was about to go to your place.” He clenched his jaw and stared at her from his eagle eyes. “I need to talk to you about something.”
She trembled, she knew what the talk would be about and she wasn’t ready for that talk. Not now, not when she was on the verge of her happiness of being with him. She wasn’t ready to back out yet.
She Stepped closer to him and tiptoed on her feet, rounded her arms on his neck and within seconds she pressed their lips together. She didn’t think anymore, she just followed her instinct and that night all she wanted to do was to be with him.
Kyuhyun was taken aback by her sudden move but he quickly grabbed her waist to support her weight as she leaned even closer to him. Seulri changed her simple kiss into something deeper as she bit his lower lip. He moaned with such low voice before he gave in to the constant desire he always had for her. He placed his right hand on her nape and he followed her lead to deepen their kisses. What started simple now had become more demanding as he turned their position to pin her to the wall.
“Seul,” He pulled his face away from her to whispered in her mouth.
“Please oppa.” She brought her hands from his neck towards his cheek. “Don’t say whatever you needed to say to me.”
“I have to—“
She threw herself at him one more time to get back to their fiery kisses earlier but Kyuhyun gently pushed her a little.
“Oppa please.” She plead. “Allow me to be selfish one more time.”
“I will vanish quietly from your life once she returns but please don’t send me away tonight.” Her voice became raspy, “I don’t care what kind of relationship you have with her, I don’t care if she’s your girlfriend, your fiancé or your wife. I just—“ She hesitated, the more she speak the more she realize how selfish she really sound.
“Seulri-ya, I can’t do that to you.” He caressed her hair as he controlled his racing heartbeat, “I told you I will take responsibility to end it with her, but the situation got a little bit complicated that’s why I need more time.”
She shook her head and began to kiss him again, if this what it took to keep his mouth shut then Seulri could do that all night long.
“Seul—“ He whispered in between as his effort to explained to her, but Seulri kept attacking him.
“Please oppa.” She squeezed his shoulders to find some grip. “Can’t we just be like this? I know where my place is and I’m fine with it.”
“No Seulri-ya.” He pressed her shoulder as his last effort to get her attention and to stop her throwing herself at him. “It’s not fair for you and it’s not fair for her. I will end it with her.”
She shook her head in desperation. No, this was not what she had in her mind when she begged him to let her stick around.
“But I can’t be the jerk that break up to my girlfriend over the phone, text message or email.” He hissed in between his breath.
Seulri ran her finger to his face, traced down his cheekbone down to his lips that still moist from their kiss earlier. “I don’t care what you’ll do with her. I just selfishly want to be near you, I want you to hold me like you hold me the other day, I want to laugh like that again with you, I want to be happy again with you.”
“I want that too, Seul.” He brought his face closer to her to give a soft kiss on her forehead. “But I don’t want to hurt you along the way.”
She lifted her head to look for his lips and she began to kissed him again, tried the art of seduction she learned from her past. “Please. Please don’t say ‘no’ to me.” She whispered in between her kisses.
He lost his conscience when she grinded her body onto him, with her soft moans his mind just went wild and he knew he lost the argument to their desire.
Seulri parted their mouth as she traced his jawbone with several mild kisses, “Please.” She whispered one more time in his ear.
Kyuhyun instantly blinded by her simple word that delivered her deepest wish. She used to asked a lot of silly things from Kyuhyun back when they were young, she asked him to do some things for her also but for all the time he knew her, Kang Seulri never plead. She never plead repeatedly and desperately the she did that night—and he didn’t have the heart to reject her request.
He lifted her by placing his hands to support her pelvis and Seulri automatically round her legs around his hips, allowed Kyuhyun to took her inside his place. He kept on kissing her as he brought her into his room and gently placed her on his bed, obeyed her plead and gave in into their dirty desire for another night.