Category: Chapter, Angst, NC-21
Main Cast: Kang Seulri & Cho Kyuhyun
Supporting Cast: Ok Taecyeon
She’s in between of her consciousness again now, some little pinches on her upper right arm feels a little bit painful for her but she can’t do anything to tell the pain to go away. If she can tell the doctor, she’d say that all of her body aching from extreme pain, her head never felt this dizzy in her whole life, her eyes feel so heavy no matter how much effort she tries to open them up, her lungs feel like they’re burning and she believe she broke some bones of her ribs also for the exaggerating pain that’s now slowly comes to her.
The sound and the voices of her surrounding comes and goes and it makes her thinking if she’s already dead or not. If she could have a last wish right now, Seulri just want to have a personal time with him. She wants to curl herself in his embrace, breathing the scent of him, having him patting her back and telling her that everything will be fine.
Is that still possible? After his final words that he shouted to her from the top of his lungs, after that vigorous fight, and after he gave up on her altogether.
She never blamed him for the way he treated her, she was the one that cut the ties with him without a word, she was the one that broke so many promises they had for each other, she was the one that dragged herself into this mess, and she was also the one that shamelessly begged him for a mercy.
Seulri can hear his voice calling from her side, begging her to open her eyes, telling her to keep fighting and avoid the bright light, she even vaguely hears he said he’ll fix what’s broken between them. Is she dreaming? Because she loves the prospect of her dream.
She likes to imagine them to be together again, holding each other’s hand, forgetting the fatal mistake she’s done throughout her life. She imagines her life would finally be wonderful if he returns to her for good, if he allows them to pick their broken vow and mend it together. Seulri tempted to the idea of him taking her hand down the aisle to build a family with her like the picture of their future they used to dream about when they were still young and clueless.
Tears piles in the corner of her eyes and she can fell the warmness traces down to the side of her face. Would she have it all if she didn’t turn her back away from him? Would he look at her with the same caring eyes if she hadn’t gone astray?
Would she fight harder to open her eyes now if she knows he’d be lost without her.
The thing is, Seulri knows he’s staying here out of guilt, he’s fighting with her now to show support as the only one left that she can call a family, she knows her dying won’t mean much to him in the next few months and even if she lost her battle now, he won’t mourn that long over her—because he said so himself, that Kang Seulri is already dead for him.
While she’s trying to open her eyes, flashes of another memory comes into her. This is not the memory she fond of, but it’s definitely a memory that changed her.
She felt shiver throughout her body from the cold water that kept on showering her, she had no idea how long she’s been in there sitting on Taecyeon’s cold bathroom floor, hugging her knees while her eyes stared blankly into the grey stone that covered the interior. The sound of the water running was too loud in her ear and she couldn’t hear knocking on the door, she only startled once she saw Taecyeon squatted in front of her, already put on his clothes back on him while she’s still there, naked and afraid of what’s going to happen to her next.
Taecyeon took one look into her, got up and turned the faucet to stop the cold water running on top of Seulri’s body, took her hand with him and force her to stand up. He took a robe towel from the drawer and wrapped it around her body before he gently tied the ties in front of her then took another towel to place on her drenched hair. Slowly he led her to walk outside of the bathroom and let her sit on his bed.
They didn’t say anything and Seulri’s face that time looked like a broken porcelain doll, she just sat still and let him do whatever he wanted to her while her eyes just stared into space with tears still flowing endlessly from them.
He approached her again with a hair dryer in his hand then he began drying her up, slowly took a portion of her hair one after another until he believed she was no longer felt the cold.
“I’m sorry.” He finally said something.
Taecyeon kneeled in front of Seulri, cupped her face with his hand to try to get her focus. Seulri avoided his gaze but another tear fell from her eyes.
“No, I’m sorry. You paid a lot for this, I shouldn’t just run to the shower like that.” Her voice was still sore from the crying.
“You’re scared aren’t you? Please don’t tell me that it was your first time.” His face was full of concern.
She shook her head, “It’s the first time I did it for money.” Her voice cracked upon the disgusting thought and the she suddenly felt so stuffy so she began to gasp for air.
He got up and sat next to her, immediately pulled her towards him to embrace her in his arm. He didn’t know what to do to calm someone in shock like this and he’s afraid that one wrong word could make what already bad to become worse.
Seulri just leaned helplessly on his shoulder, her mouth kept on mumbling her apologies while her eyes kept on flowing with tears. She’s tired, she’s tired living the kind of cursed life she lived, tired of the continuous disgrace, tired of crying her eyes out every single day after she’s done working.
“V, is there anything I can do to make you feel better?” He finally asked.
She snorted her nose, lifted her head from his shoulder and used the arm of her robe to wipe her tears. “Please don’t tell my boss about this, I need this job so much. I’ll make it up to you somehow but please don’t let him fire me because of it.”
His heart suddenly felt like its clenched on its own for a reason he didn’t understand. This girl just threw away her dignity for a job they both knew she hated but then she begged him not to complain to her boss because she didn’t want to get fired.
“How hard is your life?” The words just slipped from his mouth.
She stared at him with the sorrow in her eyes then she smiled bitterly, “Not something people with this kind of luxury you have could understand.”
She shook her head, “I’m here to spread my legs in front of you, not to talk.”
“Wow, you’re colder than I thought.” He lifted his finger to caress her face. “I won’t complain; I don’t have anything to complain about anyway. I had a great time.”
She nodded while trying to collect herself. “Give me ten minutes. I’ll be ready to do anything you want within ten minutes.”
“Who says I want to do anything else?” He scoffed.
“You rent me for a whole night, I bet it has nothing to do with cuddling on the bed and a lovely breakfast the next morning.” She replied with a flat tone. “So what’s next? Should I prepare something? Should I—“
Taecyeon sat closer to give her a kiss her forehead, a gentle kiss that was totally different from before. “That’s what I want to do. Give a goodnight kiss and tuck you into bed.” He patted the pillow beside him. “Let’s get some sleep, you look tired V.”
Seulri stared at him in disbelieve, her job couldn’t be this simple, right?
“Please, just lay your body on this bed and take some rest.” He got up from her side to give her the space she needed to lay down.
She was still confused yet at the same time her body was aching in many places. She couldn’t remember the last time she slept in a proper position, on a nice warm and firm bed in a room that’s not in a hospital ward. Since her father got into accident, she just slept on the chair provided and she haven’t got a chance to find a new place to live. Taecyeon’s offer for her just to get some rest sounded too lovely for her at that time, so Seulri just followed his order and do as he asked.
Seulri believed she could crack every bone in her body the moment her head touched the soft pillow, she lifted her arms upward to stretched out her muscle and after a while, a vague soft smile drawn on her face. Taecyeon noticed that, confused that his heart beat faster only by the simple sight of her smile that she displayed for him.
“I hope you’ll find my bed comfortable to sleep on.” He took his place next to her on the other side, puffed his pillow then placed his on head on top of it.
“You have no idea how much I miss sleeping laying down like this.” She mumbled, sank her face into the pillow to assured herself that the comfort she felt was real.
He pulled the blanket from its fold on their feet then covered her body up to her shoulder with it, smiled to the sight of her, closing her eyes with such peaceful look on her face. He caressed her hair then tucked them behind her ear to really look at her.
“V, are you asleep yet?” He whispered.
She didn’t reply.
“Goodnight, V. Sleep tight.” He then lowered his face to kiss her temple. Surprised himself for the little gesture he never done to anyone who slept beside him before.
He took his pillow and decided to sleep towards her direction, watched her serene looking face while she’s sleeping. Taecyeon didn’t understand why, but he felt sad whenever he looked at her. The girl in front of him carried massive burden on her shoulders and he knew it, he knew she could break down anytime from whatever battle she’s fighting at the moment. He knew it just by looking into the emptiness in her eyes, but he figured something more in those beautiful eyes of hers. Pain, regrets, shame, helplessness and a longing of something only she understood.
A part of him wanted to help her deal with that but then he’d begin to think it’s ridiculous to do it, how could he help somebody he didn’t even know the name of.
Taecyeon got up to the sound of the piano from his play room, he glanced to his side realized that the girl slept there had gone, then he looked into the watch on his nightstand—it was only four in the morning. He got up to approach the sound he heard and his guess was right, Kang Seulri was sitting on the piano chair while her fingers danced on the black and white keys.
Seulri’s hands were moving freely while her face looked up to the big window Taecyeon had on his penthouse. The lighting was dimmed but he could tell that her face was damped from crying. He approached her then took his seat right next to her, watched her play the piano from the close distance.
She stopped playing all at once and bowed her head to him, “Sorry, I closed the door as tight as I could. I thought you won’t hear it from this distance.”
“Please continue, I like what you’re playing.” He smiled and tapped on her shoulders, “I didn’t know you play.”
She shook her head, “I only know this one song. Somebody taught me and it sounded so beautiful the first time I heard it so I demanded him to taught me.” Her tears fell for more.
“Somebody special? Your first love?” He ran his finger under her eyes to wipe her tears.
She didn’t answer but only bit her lips.
“Please play again, I like the sound of it. It’s from the movie Peter Pan isn’t it?” He got the message that Seulri didn’t want to talk about the background story of her playing this song.
“Ng, it’s from that movie.” She nodded to the question she could answer, “The Second Star From The Right.”
“I’ll be far away from you so you won’t feel bothered by me, I hope you like French toast for early breakfast.” He chuckled and got up, “Please continue.”
“Thank you.” She bowed one more time and restarted playing the song that was packed with their memories.
She was playing instrumentally at first, but then her mouth just begun humming the words she remembered so well and her tears just kept on falling to the fragments of memories attached in every verse.
“The second star to the right, shines in the night for you.
To tell you that the dreams you planned, really can come true”
She’s taken back to the moment when she and Kyuhyun used to talk about their silly hopes and dreams on their walk from school. It was just like yesterday for her when she still could laugh about something during the hard time of her life. His words still lingered in her mind, how he told her he’d finish med school then marry her afterwards, how they imagined their married life together would be like later on and those silly dreams that seemed too unrealistic for her at the moment.
“The second star to the right, shines in the light that’s rare.
And if it’s Neverland you need, its light will get you there.”
She trembled, she really wished there’s some kind of light or way out to guide her out of this mess she’s in. if Neverland really exist, then Seulri would love to escape there and stayed forever as a clueless teen that only worried about being scolded by her parents and bad scores at school.
“Twinkle-twinkle little star, so I know where you are.
Gleaming in the skies above, lead me to the one who loves me.”
She felt like the song had turned into her prayer. She wanted to get out of here and run into his embrace. But after almost a year she left him without notice, would Kyuhyun would still take her with open arms? If he knew what she agreed to do to get-by, would he love her still? If he later learned that Seulri had broken so many of their promises, would he still greet her with the warmth he always has?
“And when our journey is through each time we say goodnight.
We thank the little star that shines, the second from the right.”
Those night walk, goodnight kisses and a simple stroll they took on the way back from his dorm room. Those night when she was being a naughty girl that sneaked out of her parent’s house to sleep in his place and those nonsense midnight talks. How she missed them so much. How she missed having his strong arm to hold her trembling shoulders now to calm her down.
She stopped playing, she lost her strength and she just crossed her arms then leaned on the piano keys as she cried her heart out.
Taecyeon jumped in surprise from the loud noise created from many piano keys being pressed together then he stopped his breakfast making activity to check on her.
Seulri was crying, franticly and loudly throwing everything that’s weighing her heart. She didn’t care where she’s at anymore, she didn’t care if Taecyeon would be bothered by the interruption she created. she just need to burst and the moment stroke her that dawn. She supported her head with his left arm that still laid on the piano keys and patted her chest repeatedly with her right hand as her attempt to make her pain to became more tangible.
He could only watch from the distance, but that day was the day Ok Taecyeon shed his tear for someone else. For the first time he felt the feeling called sympathy and he just wanted her to share a little bit of her pain to him. That time he thought maybe he could help her with her difficulties and maybe later after the storm had passed from her life, the girl he paid for pleasure last night could quit her job and start anew with a new life.
And he thought, he wouldn’t mind to become a part of that new life she’ll have.