Sigh.

 

No, it’s not an update. You can just skip it, i just need to put my thoughts into words.

Every person is like a painting, when we come into contact with another life, that individual dabs a little bit of color into our soul. It isn’t always the color you like, but even ugliness provides its own lesson. Those are the words that lingers in my head years and years after i read it, from Clay Aiken—my hero.

But i’m not going to talk about him, i’m just going to analize the pretty words and put its meaning into my life. (Yeah i’m going to blab now).

Sometimes i wonder why i must encounter a mean person in my life. A mean strager, a mean collegue, a mean worker, a mean reader even. Why people can be so mean even when you’ve done nothing to harm them?

For most people, it’s something they can just ignore. But for people with high insecurity and anxiety, it becomes a problem.

I’m passionate about my major, but i’m not allowed to do deep reasearch because it’ll affect my grades in the Departement of Education report card (because i crossed major at the moment).

I tranfer my frustration into doing my job harder, simply because i must learn a whole new major in instant, yet my collegue started to doubt me and try to knock me down lately.

I’m so insecure about my real life that i seek comfort in writing fictions, but mean readers just keep on spitting their harsh words to keep my self-esteem stay low.

Honestly, i don’t know what kind of comfort that i need at the moment. This is the time when i just want to ‘vanish’ for a while, the moment when i want to hide to sink myself in the pit of sorrow that i dig deep for myself.

it’s only 23 days gone since 2017, yet i already missed a lot of greatness of 2016—and i already hate this year.

 

 

 

 

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15 thoughts on “Sigh.

  1. Seo HaYeon says:

    Sabar, ya kakak….. Itu si mean readers kick aja mereka ga boleh masuk2 wilayah nya kakak. hihi… 😛 this is your home_ you’ve got comfort here by throw away your real life in a while and appearing the imagination you made and pouring the feelings on words.. As this is your house, don’t let anyone disturb you. You’ve already tired and don’t add the bad feelings rude you… Semangat, uri author… 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  2. gaemaker says:

    Does this explain much about your exhaustive being this lately? Try to find the hidden blessings dear, I know you’re somehow a pessimist but no harm trying. 🙂

    Believe this, your glass is neither half full nor empty. It’s actually overflowing. 🙂 love u, L.

    Sounds calm but im actually had enough of people being mean to u this lately babe

    Liked by 1 person

  3. fiksi558 says:

    Aku selalau di buat kagum dengan setiap kalimat yang kakak post ,sungguh .Dan itu mengakibtkan saya pribadi mucul timbul rasa penasaran yang besar , kepo sangat 😁wujud ini org kaya gman sih ,gila ini bikin gue penasaran . ak slalu ngikutin stiap cerita yang kakak post . Meskipun ak cuma ninggal jejak like aja . Karna ak gk terlau pandai mngutarakan statmen yg ad di pikiran ketulisan . Wk
    Pokonya aku slalu menunggu karya kakak . Dan untuk masalhnya semoga cepet clear ya kak . Muach kecup jauh 😜 kkk

    Liked by 1 person

  4. nazaki says:

    Karena hayers ada bukan sebagai halangan tapi cambuk & peringatan supaya kita g terlalu cepat berpuas diri tapi justru terus memperbaiki diri . They (haters) exist not because we did something wrong or bad but because they need to life.they just cant accept their life (yet) & feel envy for others life . They want to be happy & succes too but they can’t & will never can .katrna hal pertsma yg kita perlu untuk bisa bahagia adalah “bersyukur” & haters g familiar dengan “itu”
    Just ignore it. Sirik tanda tak mampu & cuex is the best 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  5. ByunSoo says:

    Semangat ya Unnie,aku manggilnya ky gitu aja ya biar lbh enak,ga keberatan kan Authornim aku panggil Unnie???
    aku mengeti sebagian,sbagian lg ga,krna b.Ingg,maklum bukan bule aku ini ya….Hihihi

    udah dicat aja tuh org Eon,dr pd bikin Mood Unnie Down ky ginikn

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Pandacattaa says:

    I don’t how to encourage someone properly but i just used to say “semangat ya, no one can help us better than ourselves” jadi.. tetep semangat author-nim! Permasalahan hidup emang dateng seiring dengan situasi dan kondisi kita, tapi dengan pikiran tenang dan positif yang bisa mengubah masalah jadi tantangan hidup dan pelajaran. Good luck author-nim, semoga permasalahannya cepat selesai 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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