(Eng.) Piles of Regrets – Part 14

Author: Ssihobitt

Category: Short Chaptered, Romance, Sad

Main Cast: Han Sera & Cho Kyuhyun

Supporting Cast: Ok Taecyeon

(I’m baaaackkk~~ btw, i have slight alteration to the Indo version on the next chapter… it’s something that came up and i think it’ll be a better way to learn about their old days, please check on the chapter 14 Indonesian version in case you’re curious–or just skip it, it doesn’t change the story, simply just gives a bit of explanation ^^)


Kyuhyun’s running along the hospital corridor giving all of his strength to get into the place he’s supposed to be. He just got the call that turned his life upside down. After what seems to be the best week of his life, he still thinks he just got a prank call.

They got a call in the morning stating that Sera should bring herself as soon as possible to the hospital. She finally got the heart she always needed and she needs to be prepped to surgery within four hours, while doctor Kim personally picks up her donor heart from another hospital in a chopper. They hurried themselves to go to the hospital and Kyuhyun was on her side from the beginning, they were so happy about the good news and they’ve begin wondering what they’ll do once she’s fully recovered.

The transplant surgery took six hours and after what seems to be forever for him, she finally awake. Sera was weak as usual but something is different from her now, she looks more alive than she was in the past few months, even her team of doctors are cheering for their favorite cardiac patient for being able to bounce back as soon as she received the donor.

Sera’s put under observation room for a whole day before she’s allowed to be moved into a normal room and she’s done very great the doctors finally gave her a ‘go’ to enter a regular patient room. Doctor Song and doctor Kim declared that her new heart is beating beautifully just like a good heart should and after a while, Han Sera finally able to have a normal heart that beats on its own.

Kyuhyun stays on her side from the beginning of her operation until the end, he never left her side during her recovery nor during the time she’s being observed in her own room. It’s important for him to stay by her side, he wants to show his support to the woman he loves.

After the observation, Sera asked him when’s the last time he had a meal and he stunned in his place not being able to answer. Maybe it’s two days ago when they had breakfast before the good call.

As usual Sera doesn’t want to burden him and she worries that he’ll collapse if he skips another meal, so she asked him to grab something to eat from the cafeteria before she’ll allow him to watch over her again. Kyuhyun agreed to her, first of all she’s declared ‘okay’ by her doctors and second of all, he was starving, so he took his break and dragged himself to the cafeteria.

Kyuhyun was just finished his meal when his phone rings and doctor Song’s number displays on it. he picked it up and later on he wished the ground will open up and swallow him.

“Kyuhyun-ssi, please come to her room.”

“Is something wrong?” He gets up and put his tray back.

“Han Sera just passed away.”

Kyuhyun stand still on his place, he believes it’s a prank call because he just left her minutes ago and she was fine.

“Don’t joke around, it’s not funny.” He replies coldly.

“She had a stroke. She was prune to blood clots. A clot could have formed in her suture and travels to her brain, it only takes seconds. When we got into her room, it was too late.” Doctor Song explaining her cause of death.

Kyuhyun run like he’s never ran before, he needs to get to Sera, he needs to see her and make sure that the call he just got was really a prank call. She was fine minutes ago, she was happy and giggling with him less than an hour ago. There’s no way her last words to him was ‘go get yourself a meal’ and his last words to her was ‘I’ll enjoy a real food after this’.

He’s arrived in front of her room and his heart breaks at once by the time he sees her. The liveness in her has gone, her fair skin has slowly turn blue and her pretty face no longer radiates warmness.

It is true, his Sera is now lying soullessly on her hospital bed.

Kyuhyun enters her room and takes Sera’s body in his embrace, he can’t let it happen, he can’t let her go without a proper goodbye, he can’t just leave her in the most hopeful time of her life. He hugs her tighter, he doesn’t have to care about her LVAD device anymore, he doesn’t need to care about her post-operation pain, because Sera can’t feel those anymore.

She’s gone.

His tears pour freely as he shares his last chance to take her in his arms. He shouldn’t have gone to the cafeteria, he should’ve stayed next to her so when the stroke occurs he could call the doctor faster and maybe she’d be helped. She was all alone when it happened. He cries for some more, knowing that he’ll regret this for the rest of his life. The love of his life has gone to heaven and he could’ve actually done something to prevent that from happening.

On the edge of his despair, Kyuhyun begins to wails in frustration. He hugs her soulless body tighter while throwing her his apology. He apologizes for not being by her side, for not being to keep his promise to protect her, for not being able to make her happy.

He wails again as his last attempt to get rid of the pain in his heart.

The next thing he feels is the pain in his face, the pain stings him badly it forces him to take a moment of silence from his own despair.

*

Kyuhyun opens his eyes and find Han Sera is sitting on the edge of his bed. He blinks his eyes several times to get a grasp of what’s happening. He notices the fact that he’s breathing really fast and his body begins to break a sweat.

“Kyu, you’re wailing in your sleep I tried to wake you up but you kept on wailing, I slapped you hard to wake you up, I’m sorry if your face swollen tomorr…”

Kyuhyun doesn’t let her finish her words. He pulls her into his embrace and kisses her all over. He doesn’t care, he’s too relieved to realized that he just had a nightmare.

“Kyu, are you okay?” Sera tries to releases herself from him but he doesn’t give her a chance to do that.

He just saw the worst case scenario in his dream and if he could, he’d hold her forever so he’d never say goodbye. Kyuhyun still able to feel the pain in his heart and he begins to cry out of control.

“Han Sera… I just had… the worst… the worst nightmare…” He’s catching his breath franticly.

Sera begins to understand his situation. She hugs him and pats his back continuously in order to calm him down. She lets him lingers for a little while until he begins to take control of his breathing. After he’s calmed down, Sera push herself away from him to wipes the tears on his face.

Kyuhyun sit still and allows her to look at him in his weakest. This is exactly how he’s going to be if his nightmare comes true, he’ll be in this zombie state for God knows how long and if that happens for real, he won’t see Sera in front of him caressing him and wiping his tears.

“Hey, can we talk now?” She runs her hand on his hair to wipe the sweat near his head.

He takes a look at her and pull her again into his embrace as he begins to shower her another kisses. “Thank you.”

“Ne?”

“Thank you for being alive.” He lowers his face to whisper weakly on her ear. “You have no idea how bad my nightmare was.”

“Would you like to share with me?”

He pushes her a bit from him and grabs her by her shoulders. “No, I can’t. I don’t want to.”

Sera can guess what kind of nightmare he just had, it must have been about her and judging from the way he reacted, Sera’s pretty sure that she died in his dream.

“Kyuhyun-a,” She places her hands on both of his cheeks to cup his face. “Whatever dream you just had, I want you to believe in me. I’ll fight hard to be cured and I will still fight to reach a normal state even after the big battle.”

“I believe in you, Sera-ya. But…” The picture of Sera being a soulless corpse replays in his mind and he begins to shed more tears.

Sera leans closer to him and brushes her lips on his. “Even if I lost the battle, I will make sure you know that I fought the hardest I could and I promise, I’ll bid my farewell before I depart.”

Her words clearly don’t make him feel any better. “You never console a sad person before, have you? Otherwise you won’t say those words.” He pinches her on her nose.

Sera shake her head. “No, I never stayed long enough to console a sad person. I always chose to run away, remember?”

Kyuhyun lets out a big sigh. “Sera-ya, please stay by my side tonight.” He stares at her with his teary eyes.

“Yaa… what kind of tenant you are, how could you crossed…”

Kyuhyun cuts her words as he locks their lips together. His kiss is shaky and deep and Sera understands how afraid he is right now. When they part, he silently slides to the other side of the bed to make room for her. She swiftly wraps her body under his blanket and places her head to lean on his chest. From his pounding heart she knows how much of an impact she really is in his life and she didn’t lie to him when she said she’d fight hard.

“Kyu, I won’t be able to sleep if you heart beats this fast. Do you need my device to keep your rhythm normal again?” She teases him as her attempt to hide her own nervousness.

“I can’t control it, just take it as my proof of adoration and love towards you.”

Sera smiles, she can’t remember the last time she feels butterflies in her tummy when a man flatters her.

“Help me to get rid of the horrible image in my head, Sera-ya.”

“How?”

“I don’t know, let’s talk.”

“What do you want to talk about?” She sinks her face deeper in his chest.

“Hmmm… what about a bright future?”

“A bright future is good, what do you think about your bright future?”

“Let me think…” He forces his mind to wander and erases the disturbing image that still plays in his head. “I want to open my own practice in the future, I also want to take some time to travel. Sometimes I regret my decision to work straight away after I finish college, I should’ve explore the world first. What about you? What about your bright future?”

“Simple, I get a donor.”

Kyuhyun heart sinks when he hears this. he just saw what could have happened to her if she gets a donor. “What will you do after that? After you get a donor and recovered?” he chose to ignore his nightmare.

“Don’t be mad at me,” She takes a deep breath and allows her mind to wanders, “I want to do the things I love the most, I’ll go to New Zealand for the ultimate bungee jumping, I’ll sky jump from the tallest hotel in Dubai, I’ll walk on top of the skywalk in Hunan, I will also get on a hot air balloon ride in Cappadocia.”

“Adrenalin pumping experience, huh?”

“If I go through this successfully, I need to do things that makes me feel alive.” She giggles a little.

“Sera-ya, I should apologize in advance.” He takes his hand to wave her head, “Your life with me won’t be as exciting as the one he gave you and…”

“I don’t expect to live the life he gave me, Kyu.” Sera lifts up her body and leans on her elbow so she can look at him in the eyes. “Please don’t compare yourself to him or to anyone else. He’s my past and I admit that I’m still struggling to let go of everything. But if we continuously look to my past, I’m afraid we won’t be able to move forward.” She caresses him softly with her hand. “You have offered me the greatest thing I need the most, comfort. I never felt safer in a long time until you came along. I’m the one that should apologize to you for not being as devoted as you are.”

He smiles at her, he knows how much she tries to let him in and he should thank her for that. All these time all he needed was a chance from her. He’s happy enough with his position right now, the fact that she tried to lower her guard down is great enough for him.

“Can I go with you?” He asks.

“Ne?”

“All those adrenalin pumping experience, can I go with you?” He can’t believe he just asked her that.

“You’re afraid of height, Kyu.”

“I used to be afraid to ask you out too, but look at us now. You’re on my bed in my embrace.” He giggles.

Sera laughs, sometimes he can be this innocent and this is one of the reason Sera liked to hang out with him back then.

“I’m old enough to face my fear, Sera-ya.”

“Okay, we’ll do that once I get a new heart.” She offers him her pinky finger, he links his and stamp their thumbs together.

“Now, before I face the bigger fear, let me take care of my little fear.” He gets up from the bed and leave Sera wondering what he’ll be doing.

Not long after he gets into the room complete with a long cable that he immediately plugs into the electric socket.

“Aish, you just ruin the mood.” Sera is fully aware of what he’s doing.

“I can’t take any risk of losing you.” He plugs the other end of the cable to the device on Sera’s body. “If this is what it takes to bungee jump with you later, I’ll go the distance to make sure it’ll happen.” He ignores her annoyed face and lays himself beside her again.

Sera crawls closer to him and let him wraps his arms around her. “Thank you Kyu. For putting up with these sh*t I have to go through. You have no idea how lucky I feel right now to have someone that makes saying ‘goodbye’ extremely hard.”

“Anytime.” He pecks her on the head before pulling the blanket to cover their bodies. If this is as good as it’s gonna get, then he’s willing to live this kind of life for the rest of his life.

As long as Sera’s in it.

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5 thoughts on “(Eng.) Piles of Regrets – Part 14

  1. Gaemaker says:

    I remember this..i cried and scared that the dream will turn out real..i need to read scene like this. Shock news. Gone. Someone you love is gone. I find it’s hard to write such scenes. If final call, i was prepare for it. But not the shock here..do u get what I’m trying to compare? Haha

    Liked by 1 person

  2. No Name says:

    you finally back from your holiday (and second honeymoon I guess kkk)!
    I was so shocked when I read this chapter for the first time. I thought she’s really gone but thanks God it’s only his dream. both really deserve to live a happy life~~~

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Seo HaYeon says:

    Oh My GOD… what did you just do with my heart_ Eonni??? I felt had already jumped from the highest building in Dubai then riding a big roller coaster!!! I suggest to myself it just an imagination, it just a nightmire, it’s not real but it didn’t work 😦 😛 I just checked here then I was so sorry to late to read this wehheee… Oh God.. please give Sera long life..
    Ho I almost forgot.. Uri Author Ssihobitt… so so SO SO SO GLAD TO MEET YOU AGAIN in this wordpress!! 😀 WELCOME 2 YOUUUU…… 😉

    Liked by 1 person

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