(Eng.) Piles of Regrets – Part 8

Author: Ssihobitt

Category: Short Chaptered, Romance, Sad

Main Cast: Han Sera & Cho Kyuhyun

Supporting Cast: Ok Taecyeon

 

Sera’s adjusting the cables that’s popping out of her abdomen one more time before she lifts herself up. For somebody who just went under a big surgery, she definitely rebounds fast and adjusting well to the new equipment that’s attached to her. She just finished another physiotherapy session to help her become independent on her own once more.

As usual, during lunch time Kyuhyun will come and takes Sera to the cafeteria to grab something interesting to eat, the only difference is now Sera doesn’t need a wheelchair anymore and she can walk on her own without having to worry about running out of breath and crashes—as long as the LVAD battery’s working properly. To make sure no emergency measure will take place later on, Kyuhyun spent more time at his office to read articles about LVAD patient instead of taking care of his own job. He needs to know everything about the procedure and the post-surgery treatment so he can handle Sera’s needs properly. The more he reads into the articles, the more he gets goosebumps. Internet has no censor over medical procedure whatsoever and he can see what Sera went through from some videos posted online—and he knows if he’s in that position, he’d give up a long time ago.

“Kyu, when will you take me out for the junk food you promised me about? I’m looking forward to that.” She eats another bite of her steamed chicken. She’s only allowed to eat lean meat, no frying, no trans-fat, no sodium kind of food and the rebel inside her really wants to throw those rubbish into the trash.

“Wait a little longer, will you? It’s not like you’ve completely recovered. And by the way, Hamburger are bad fat and fries are fried so, no!”

“Aish, you pinky-promised me. That’s the only reason I agreed on this LVAD thing.” She pouts her mouth, wishing this act will soften his heart.

Kyuhyun scoffs watching the woman in front of him. “You measure your life by junk food? Seriously?”

“Why don’t you try my diet and tell me if you get bored within a week. It’s tasteless Kyu, come on, have a talk to doctor Song or doctor Kim. The three of you have become buddies, so you can influence them to allow me to get out and get some junk food.”

Kyuhyun grabs the bread in front of Sera and shoves it into her mouth. “Eat that. That’s healthy for you.”

Sera chews her food half-heartedly.

“By the way, do you really feel better these days?”

Sera nods. “Despite the fact I feel like a gadget that needs to be charged every eight hours, I actually feel much better. It’s hard to take a shower and I obviously have to wear baggy clothes since I need to cover up the machine, but yeah, my heart’s beating and I’m alive.” She lifts both of her shoulder.

“Did you really told to do some exercise?”

“Ng! My physiotherapist said it’s one of the most important thing, since I’ve lost massive muscle weight during my hospitalization. Oh and there’s another good news, they say if I’m showing great progress, I can actually go home.” She grins widely, she has been longing to get out of this temporary place that she called home.

Kyuhyun chokes on his drinks, he’s too delighted to hear the news. Obviously he fells Sera’s safer being in the hospital but he understands how stressful it could be for her to recover in the place that limits her movement. “Should I find you a place to stay? You can stay at my house if you want, I have two rooms and one of it is empty.”

Sera throws her remaining bread into Kyuhyun, “Ya! What kind of woman do you think I am? Moving from one man’s place to another. Shireo!”

“You can rent the room if that makes you feel better, it’ll be like college all over again.”

Andwe!”

“So you’re coming back to your old apartment then?”

Sera shakes her head immediately.

“To Jeju into your parent’s place? That’s too far from this hospital, you need to be within an hour radius from this hospital. You know the rules, I did my research of the post-operative treatment. patient isn’t allowed to live too far from the hospital, so if emergency measure required their life could be saved.” He rumbles about the information he just learned few weeks ago.

“Definitely not my parents place, they don’t really talk to me anymore since I went missing. But I’ll find a place to stay eventually. The rent need to be under a million won, and it’s gotta be close to the city center. HA! That’ll be a challenge.”

“Or… it’s just an idea, sell your apartment and buy a new one close to my place that you can call your own.”

“Why would I live near your place?” She chuckles, “selling the apartment? Can I do that?”

“Of course, according to your files, the apartment is now under your name and you’re free to do anything you want with it, you won’t be charged legally—trust me, I know legal stuff well. But then again, it’s just a suggestion.” He clears his throat before continuing, “and you need to live near me, so I can get to you faster if you need me—since you refused to live with me.”

Sera stares at the table, thinking and considering Kyuhyun’s idea. He’s right however, she needs a place to stay and she really doesn’t want to stay with him and burden him with her being around. But if she sells their apartment, that’ll mean the last piece of memories she has of Taecyeon will vanish—but it’s not like she’s able to live inside that dainty apartment anyway.

While busied with her thoughts she looks around the cafeteria, seems like she’s not the only patient that chose to have lunch in this place. As her eyes wander, she spotted something that steals her attention and she suddenly feels chocked. It’s the girl that was with Taecyeon the other day, Sera pays attention to what she wears and concludes that she works in this hospital as a doctor. She can’t help staring at her from head to toe, trying to find a flaw about the stunningly beautiful lady up ahead.

“Ya! Eat your food, lunch hour is almost over.” Kyuhyun slides her plate closer to Sera. “What are you starring at?” He turns his head to look at the direction Sera’s looking.

Sera takes a deep breath before she asks the question every insecure woman asks. “Do you see that young beautiful doctor over there?”

“The one with the long hair? Why? Do you know her?”

Sera shakes her head. “Do you think she’s pretty?”

Kyuhyun takes another look to the lady Sera pointed earlier. Well, yeah she’s pretty but there’s something about the girl that he doesn’t like and he can’t figure out what that factor is. “She’s okay, you’re prettier though.”

Sera rolls her eyes, of course Kyuhyun tries to console her and make her feel better. “Seriously, Kyu…”

“I swear you’re prettier.” He makes a piece sign with his two fingers, “I mean if I have to choose between the two of you, I’d chose you all over again. Look, a girl like that is high-maintenance. Just look at her shoes. Who works in a hospital and wear shoes like that?” he tries to points out some key point to make Sera believes him.

“You don’t like high-maintenance girl?”

“No men in their right mind like high-maintenance girl.” He takes a last bite of his lunch and takes a drink. “Aish, stop starring at her like that. Believe me, you’re prettier and much cooler than her.” He lifts his hand to mess with her hair.

Sera forces a smile to appreciate his effort to cheer her up. Maybe Kyuhyun won’t budge seeing that pretty doctor, but Taecyeon clearly wavered easily from Sera to that girl. For Sera, that hurtful fact is more important that Kyuhyun’s opinion about herself.

*

Today is the day she’s been waiting for since she went through the surgery—she’s allowed to get out for a few hours to enjoy a day out of the depressing hospital. Sera looks into her reflection in the bathroom mirror while thinking hard of what outfit to wear that’ll make her look less like a freak that carries “mini backpack” consisting of her LVAD equipment.

She knows how prepared Kyuhyun must be before taking her out. There are several paper works he needs to take care of and the doctors has to make sure he understands several emergency procedures if needed. Considering his effort, Sera also want to make some effort for him. She wants to look nice in front of the man that’s been staying beside her through her hardship.

One of the risk of having the LVAD in her body is the fact that she can’t take proper shower anymore—because it could break the battery—and Sera’s is the kind of girl that maintains her cleanliness, so ‘no-proper-shower’ is a huge annoyance for her. For today, at least she wants to wash her hair and make herself presentable in front of Kyuhyun, not that he protested or anything, she just wants to feel good about herself.

Her first plan is to kneel in front of the sink but turned out she’s too short to reach it, the next effort she does is bowing, this definitely a bad idea because it means her scar is compromise. She’s searching for several other comfortable positions and her frustration has led her to yell at her own reflection. She doesn’t like this, feeling weak and helpless. She can’t even take care of herself and it bothers her so much the fact that she needs to depend herself in the help of other people.

Kyuhyun heard yelling from the bathroom once he entered Sera’s room and he immediately thought she slipped, so without trying to knock he just slides open the door and finds Sera starring at herself in disgust.

“Ya, are you okay? What happened?” He allows himself to enter the bathroom. He’s relieved that Sera’s okay and fully dressed. Because it’ll be super awkward for him if she’s not.

Sera looks down at her feet, too embarrassed to tell him what bothers her.

“Sera-ya, what happened?”

She shakes her head and takes a step to get out of the bathroom, Kyuhyun takes her arm and turns her body to face him.

“Ya! What’s wrong?”

She bites her lips nervously and wards off his hand. “Nothing.”

“You just yell into the mirror. Is something wrong?”

She takes several deep breaths before she finally confessed. “I HATE THIS. I’M SO EXCITED THAT I’M ALLOWED TO GO OUT TODAY THAT I WANT TO LOOK NICE FOR ONCE IN FRONT OF YOU. BUT I CAN’T DO THAT! I CAN’T EVEN WASH MY GODDAMN HAIR! I JUST WANT TO LOOK PRESENTABLE! I DON’T WANT TO LOOK LIKE A SICK PERSON WHILE WALKING BY YOUR SIDE AND HAVING TO RECEIVE THE LOOK FROM THE PEOPLE ON THE WA—”

“You want to look nice for me?” Kyuhyun’s taken by surprised with her reason, he’s delighted enough that she allowed him to stay by her side, he never thought Sera would try to look good in front of him—mostly because he doesn’t think she needs to, the girl is flawless in his eyes.

She feels he face is burning up from shame so she just put her head down and gets out.

“Let me help you then. We can take a chair, you can sit on the chair and I can wash your hair for you, beauty salon style. What do you think?” He doesn’t know why he offered her that but he sincerely wants to do it for her.

Dweso.”

“Aish, come on, it’ll be fun to do.” He takes her hand and pulls her closer to him.

“No, the point is to impress you without you knowing I’m trying to impress you.” She innocently speaks up her mind.

Kyuhyun cups Sera’s face with both of his hands then he lowers himself so they’re face-to-face. “I’m impressed already, Sera-ya. But if it makes you feel any better, I don’t mind helping you to do that. Remember back in our college days I used to give manicure to you? It’ll be just like that only now I’m washing your hair.”

Sera stares closely to her best friend. She can’t comprehend what kind of loving he has for her, how somebody would go to that extend just for the sake of being by her side, with this consideration in mind, Sera curses herself secretly for not being able to give him anything at all—not even her heart.

“Wait here, I’ll take the chair.” Kyuhyun doesn’t take ‘no’ for an answer and he begins to prepare a little salon for her in the bathroom.

Sera continuously staring at him in guilt. “Kyuhyun-a. I must have been a hero in my previous life to deserve a great friend like you.”

Kyuhyun smiles to her. “Ng, and I must have been a playboy in my previous life, so now I’m suffering from one-sided-love.” He points the chair to Sera for her to sit on.

“Aish, who told you to like me anyway.” She obeys him while trying to hide her guilt.

“I’m going to start washing your hair now, costumer-nim, please sit still. Would you also like another service from me, I’m certified in giving manicure also.” He teases her as he begins to wet her hair.

An hour later Sera feels satisfied and confident enough with her look, she asked kyuhyun to wait outside while she asks the help from a nurse to change her clothes. She’s a simple girl that wants to impress her date and truthfully she still wants to show Kyuhyun that she still has what it takes. Sera puts on a black baggy shirt and only combines it with a pair of shorts and All-Star then she checks her reflection in the mirror one more time before she slides the door open to present herself to Kyuhyun.

Of course Kyuhyun stares at her in adoration and he can’t hide his winning smile once he sees her trying to look prettier in from of him. He takes her gesture as her way to try to give him a chance and he doesn’t care what she really thinks. He wants to be selfish for once and he knows he deserved to be.

“Shall we go now? Let me check the equipment one more time.” He grabs Sera’s overnight bag—yes, there are a lot of equipment, it takes an overnight bag to carry it all—and do his own checklist of what’s in it. “Ya! You forgot the spare battery, let me get it.” He takes the spare battery from her room and put it in the bag.

“You really know how to ruin a girl’s mood. Am I a gadget that needs to be charged?” she rolls her eyes.

“You’re not, your heart is.” He winks and slings the bag on his shoulder. “Come on, it’s almost noon.”

“Where are you taking me?”

“Itaewon. You want a good burger right? I know a place.” He braces himself to do something he’s been longing to do for a longtime. “Let’s go.” He takes Sera’s hand with him and walks along side with her.

*

Sera’s sitting and waiting patiently while Kyuhyun is ordering their meals. She’s almost jumping out of excitement when she sees him approaching with a tray full of two fatty burgers and a mountain of fries stack in the middle of it.

“No coke for you, you’re on medication.” He gives Sera her mineral water.

“Whoaaaahhh.. GOMAWOOO!!” she grabs the burger, peels off the wrapping and doesn’t wait another second to sink her teeth in the meaty bun.

Kyuhyun laughs seeing the way she closes her eyes while chewing the food she’s been craving for and his laugh becomes louder when she’s tearing up out of happiness.

“Oh my God, Kyu this is gooooood!!” She takes some fries and shove them in her mouth. “Oh God!”

“Ya, don’t be too noisy, people will think you’re having an orgasm instead of eating burger.”

“I am! This is a foodgasm! Go ahead eat yours, it’s soooo gooodd.” She takes another bite and refuses to speak while enjoying her meal.

Kyuhyun takes out his phone and captures her expression for memory sake. He’s planning on making her a scrap book consisting of her journey through her battle and their activity today is one of the milestones of her big achievement. He looks back on their conversation with her doctor a week ago about taking her out to a burger joint. They both were skeptical that she’ll be allowed to do this, however doctor Kim and doctor Song agreed on giving Sera a reward day and allowed her to eat what she wants—but she’s only allowed one portion.

“Any other plan after this, Sera-ya? It’s your day out, maybe there’re some place you want to visit.” Kyuhyun takes a bite into his burger and he has to admit this is a good stuff that he picked for them.

Sera gulps down and shakes her head. “I don’t know, just take me around and I’ll ask you to stop if something interesting come up.”

“No planning as always.”

Sera laughs, she doesn’t understand his need to always plan his life to the dots. “What’s the fun of planning everything to the detail?”

“You know where to be in certain time of day.” He lifts both shoulders. “I’d like to be organized.”

“So if I ask you to plan a date with me today, you will have no idea what to do to impress me?”

Kyuhyun chokes on his fries, a date she said? “A date?”

“Ng, I consider this is a date. Well of course I understand that in a real date you’re not supposed to be the one that helped me to prepared myself and brings my huge bag all along. But this is the first day out I got since the treatment, so yeah like it or not, it’s a date.”

“Han Sera, neo daebak! You always know how to make my heart jumps. How am I supposed to prepare a date in the nick of time?”

“Relax. You did great so far.” She grabs his hand and caresses it, “can we please have a great dessert after this? Or if you have a plan already I’ll gladly follow you.”

Kyuhyun feels his face gets hot from Sera’s overwhelming gesture.

Sera’s smiling sincerely to the man in front of her. She knows what agenda he has for her and she has promised herself, from today onward she’ll try her best to let him into her life and into her heart. He might not be Taecyeon and will never be Taecyeon, but she can try—and she has to—to move on. Using him as her stepping stone is never a good idea and she knows that, yet Sera wants to return the happiness Kyuhyun has given her in a while.

She can’t do much this time but she sure is doing her best to make him happy.

*

Taecyeon is walking back and forth in his own room, feeling super restless by the work of the professional detective he hired. It’s been two weeks already and he’s getting married in three hours, yet the man hasn’t got any news about Han Sera. The detective called him this morning, telling him that he needs more time to go into the bottom of Sera’s insurance claim.

“Taecyeon-ssi, I have checked with the insurance company and apparently, your ex-wife has made several claims in the past years.” The detective reporting his work.

“Claims? Is she sick? I don’t remember she’s having a terrible illness whatsoever.”

“I need time to dig into the details because the insurance company won’t just give out information to stranger.”

“Is there anything I can do to help?”

“Are you still her guardian?”

“Last time I check, yes. But if a divorce paper means something to the insurance company then it’ll be a problem.”

“Okay, I’ll see what I can do.”

“TWO HOURS!” Taecyeon yells from the other end of the line. “You have two hours to get it done! I don’t care how you do it or what method you use to get that information.”

The detective pauses several second, thinking hard of a way to get someone’s insurance detail without breaking too much law.

“Taecyeon-ssi. Maybe you can make a statement that she’s scamming you and you need prove for that. You’re her previous guardian so the reason still make sense enough.”

“Ya! She’s not scamming me and I don’t want to make such statement in the nick of time. I pay you high enough for you to get to the bottom of this matter without getting my hands dirty.” Taecyeon yells into his phone.

The detective rolls his eyes, of course when dealing with chaebol they always stated the fact they paid high to get the best service.

“I’ll see what I can do.” He’s about to end the phone as Taecyeon threatens him.

“If you harm her in any way in order to get the info, I will bring this matter up to the court. So you’d better do it cleanly—and fast!” He hangs up.

Taecyeon throws his phone to the wall in front of him, doesn’t care if he’s breaking the stuff or not, he’s too frustrated. He has spent most of his time looking for Sera and she’s still missing. He hired the best men in the fields and they still can’t find her, what is happening with her? Why she wants to vanish so badly from his life? He knew he wronged her in so many ways but does she hate him that much?

“Eyyy… Our son looks really good.” Taecyeon’s parents enter his room where he’s been preparing himself for his evening wedding ceremony.

Yes, today is the day that he fears the most. He will tie a knot with a girl he just met several months ago. As much as he opposed to the wedding plan, he doesn’t have the heart to tell his bride-to-be the truth about his past nor about his feeling. She’s a sweet innocent girl that doesn’t deserve to know the hurtful reality and Taecyeon tries his best to protect that innocent heart from breaking because deep down he knows it’s not Yoona’s fault that he divorced, not her fault that Sera ran away from him, and he can’t blame Yoona for everything bad happened in his previous love life.

Adeul, You look like this is your first time to walk down the aisle. Ooh… I’m so proud of you.” His mother comes closer to hug her son.

“Ne omma.”

“I’m so relieve you can forget that wench so quickly. That good for nothing girl doesn’t deserve…”

“Omma, If you’re here to trash talk about Sera, you’d better get out. Just because I agreed to be your puppet in this marriage, doesn’t mean you can insult her.” He clenches his jaw and stares at his own mother with certain looks that makes her whimpers.

“Ya! You’re getting married in three hours and you’re still defends that girl and threatens your own mother.” His father stands up for his wife. “Forget about her. She left you and scammed you. No matter how precious she is in your eyes, she’ll always be that Bitch that ruins your life for us.”

“Aboji. Don’t you dare calling her names!”

“And what? What if I want to call her with bad names? She is an evil! She left you for god’s sake! She’s pretty on the outside, yes, but she sure has a rotten heart. This girl we picked for you worth million times better than your ex-wife!”

He’s about to withstand his believe when someone’s knocking in front of the door.

Their butler just told them that the cars are ready and they should proceed to go into the hotel where the wedding ceremony will be held.

*

Sera and Kyuhyun are now hanging out by the Hangang river banks enjoying the spring that’s almost turn into summer in the children’s playground. After the junk food fiesta they had, Sera decided she wants to do the cliché kind of date and this river bank is one of the most popular places for that kind of date.

“Kyu, what time is it now?” Sera grabs his left hand and turn his arm so she can take a look at his watch.

“Almost three. Why? Are you hungry again?”

Sera shakes her head. “I have time until six, so three hours should be fully used for something fun.”

“Define fun.”

Sera points the swing on the playground. “I’m allowed to get on that thing right?” She grins playfully to Kyuhyun.

He looks around and noticed the playground isn’t too crowded with kids, so they can use it freely for themselves.

“Come on, I’ll push you.” He takes her hand and leads her towards the swing to let her sit on the yellow swing available.

Kyuhyun sling the overnight bag diagonally on his shoulder to free his arms and begins pushing Sera in the swing.

“Ya, I’m not a kid Kyu, push me further.”

He follows her order and pushes her further and he chuckles to his own thoughts, this is as cliché as they can get. Taking her to the famous spot and spending their times in the playground. Kyuhyun knows if Sera’s in her right mind she’d definitely mock him about this idea. A girl like her will be thrilled to go on adventurous date, something that makes her adrenaline pumps inside her body instead of swinging in the children playground, yet she’s here smiling peacefully while enjoying the spring breeze caresses her face.

They both are busy with their own thoughts when they hear an alarm beeping nearby. Both Sera and Kyuhyun are turning their heads searching for the source of the sound, Kyuhyun even check his own phone to see if it’s him that’s making the sound. Only takes moment later for them to realize the sound actually comes from Sera. Her battery device’s beeping, warning her about the power that’s running out.

Kyuhyun stops the swing and immediately moves in front of Sera to kneels in front of her. He asked her permission to lift the rim of her shirt before he’s checking the display on the LVAD battery that’s hanging on her hip. Kyuhyun then quickly opens the bag and takes out the spare battery he put in earlier, he then begins doing the procedure he was taught to do by the doctors. Kyuhyun replaces the old battery and asked Sera to adjust her breathing for a moment while he’s attaching the new battery inside the device.

After the battery installed, he takes out a stethoscope that’s prepared in the bag to roughly check on Sera’s heartbeat while watching the monitor on her LVAD device closely—he needs to make sure the blood flow and the heart rate back to the normal pace again before he declares that she’s up and ready.

Kyuhyun looks up to Sera and his heart sinks when he sees her tearing up. He lifts his hand to caress her face to calm her down. “Were you scared? I’m sorry, I should’ve checked that before we got here.”

Sera wards off his hands and turns her gaze away from him. She’s having a mixed feeling in her heart. She’s scared, she’s overwhelmed, she’s moved by what he just did, but most of all she’s embarrassed for what happened.

“Sera-ya…”

“Stop it Kyu. I know what you want from me, please stop it.” She still looks away from him.

Kyuhyun—who’s still kneeling—lift his arm to her chin and turn her head towards him. “Sera-ya, look at me when you’re talking to me.”

She obeys and looks at him with huge desperation in her eyes. “Kyu, stop it, I can’t do this to you. I can’t let you take care of me the way you just did, I cannot let someone like you to take care of me.”

Kyuhyun’s a little bit offended by her words. “Someone like me?!”

“Ne! Look at you! You’re smart, good-looking, successful, single, you’re great at your job, and I can give you million other good reviews—and you spend your time taking care of a sick person like me. No! You can’t waste your time for someone like me.” She feels a lump is forming in her throat but still manages to keep her tears from falling.

“But I don’t mind doing this for you…”

“And what do you expect from me?”

“Why do you always think I expect something from you?” He feels more offended the further she goes with her words.

“Because I told you and I will tell you for a hundredth times that I can’t give you anything Kyu.”’

“I don’t ask for anything. I just want you to be healthy again.”

“What if it takes forever to find a new heart for me? What if the procedure you just did for me will be a daily routine? It’s embarrassing enough for me to have this thing implanted in me, and now I have to be reminded that my life is actually runs by a battery. I might as well just find an electric outlet and plug myself in to charge my life.”

Kyuhyun begins to understand her frustration now. She’s been showing signs of her loss of confident ever since she agreed to the LVAD surgery. This morning she had a tantrum when she couldn’t wash her own hair and this afternoon she explodes when she’s reminded about her limitation by a battery.

“I’ll stay by your side every step of the way, like I promised you.”

“Bullshit! Don’t say that! No one should do that to their own life. You shouldn’t do that to yourself! Go! Get a life! Don’t waste your precious time taking care of me, I can take care of myself Kyu.”

“I let you go once, Sera-ya and I spent the next four years of my life regretting my decision. I’m not going to do that again.”

“But I’m not the great Han Sera you used to know. I’m different now, I’m not that pretty Sera, that sexy Sera that used to make the boys turn their head.”

Kyuhyun laughs to her own vision of herself. “Do you really think you’re that pretty?”

“I know I was.” She pouts her mouth trying to suppress her emotion, “I even remember your jaw dropped the first time you saw me.”

“Well, you were stunning that day, I mean with the skirt and the tight white shirt, any normal guy’s jaw would drop seeing that.” He remembers how stupid he must’ve look back then.

Sera smiles and takes a deep breath “Now any normal girl jaw would drop seeing how gorgeous you are Kyuhyun-a and I don’t deserve…”

“But those aren’t the reason why I fell in love with you, Sera.” He puts his hands on both of her shoulders, “I like the way you make me feel when other people mocked me back then, you stood up for me and made me feel like I worth something. I like the way you forced me to do silly things I’d never thought I’d do just because you’re curious, I like how you used to cook for me when I miss my mom’s Korean cooking, and I can tell a lot of wonderful things you’ve done for me back in our college days. I fell in love with your sincerity—and you just happened to have a great appearance that matches your good heart.”

Sera’s tears are now flowing freely from her eyes. “Kyu, do you why I persistently hide about my sickness to Taecyeon? It’s because I know how destroyed he’ll be if he knows what happened. I was bitchy towards him in the hope that he’ll hate me and moved on from me, because I know the fact that I’m dying will break him into pieces.”

“You really know how to ruin a moment…”

“And I don’t want you to be destroyed also Kyu.” She lets her hand runs through his hair, “if a miracle happens and I get a new heart so I can live a normal life, then it’s great. But if all fails and I can’t be helped anymore, you’ll be left alone with nothing but memories. I was cruel to you once and I can’t be that bitch that ruins your life the second time around.”

Kyuhyun nods. “So that’s why you’ve been pushing people away? So they’re not attached to you?” He smirks cynically, “let me tell you something, Han Sera. I’m stronger than anyone you know. Your ex-husband might look stronger and muscular but I’m stronger than him and I know that. So don’t you dare pushing me away becau—”

“Have you prepared yourself well?” She cuts his sentence. “If this all fails and I die, will you ever be prepared?”

He stuns in his place by her blunt statement, knowing that he’d never get the right answer to give her. He’s not ready, he won’t ever be ready. But if he’s not ready, Sera will push him away even more while all he wants to do now is being by her side, loving her silently like he always did.

They walk away silently from the playground, the conversation they just had was too intense that they’re both busy by their own thought—busy to think of something to say to clear the air between them.

Sera stops her step and leans into the railing near the river bank, her day out is almost done and she wants to take a mental picture of the view in front of her. Kyuhyun follows her and stands quietly beside her.

“I’m a pretty girl.” Sera suddenly speaks up her mind.

Kyuhyun turn his head and laughs instantly. “Yes you are.”

“I’m not being arrogant, it’s just a fact, you know.” She turns her head and look at him in the eyes. “I got the face, got the body and usually it makes any guy think I can fulfill their fantasies. And I’m used to that, it’s how men see me.”

Kyuhyun looks at her closely, trying to guess where this conversation is going.

“You, in the other hand never made me feel like that. Even back in the days you knew how dirty my room were, how lazy I was and I felt at ease because you made me feel like… me.” She bites her lips nervously. “You were missing from my life and now you’re back, bringing those same comfort you’ve always given me, looking at me with those warm look you used to give me, taking care of me when I need a helping hand the most.”

He keeps staring at her, allowing her to finishes whatever it is she wants to say.

“What have I done to deserve you?” She smirks to that thought.

“You’re wrong. In my eyes you’re always as pretty as you described yourself earlier, I’m just very good at hiding my adoration. Stupid thing though, if I showed it to you back then maybe we’d end up together already.” He chuckles to make himself feel less tense.

Sera can’t help not to smile when she heard Kyuhyun just admitted—again—his adoration of her. His words have lifted up her confident level a little bit, especially since she feels like trash lately.

Kyuhyun looks intensely into the woman in front of him and he feels his own heartbeat has gone crazy when she smiles at him innocently like that. He’s not sure if the afternoon sun that brings out the beautiful color of her skin, or the hopeful shine in her eyes, or maybe the emotional roller-coaster ride she has taken him, Kyuhyun no longer can refrain himself from what he’s been longing to do.

“Forgive me, Sera-ya.”

Sera lifts her eyebrows and smiles. “What for?”

Kyuhyun takes a step closer to her, leaving no distance between them as he lowers his face while softly lifts up her chin towards him. They both know what’s going to happen next and none of them are trying to avoid what’s coming.

Kyuhyun gently presses his lips onto hers and she begins to closes her eyes as their kiss gets deeper. He places his hand on her nape, caressing the skin near her neck while at the same time reminiscing the softness of her lips against his. Sera has forgotten the distance she’s been trying to put in between themselves. For all she knows, this is the first time her best friend ever caresses her this way, she never knew Kyuhyun could be this gentle with his touch and she never thought her mind could go crazy from the sweet kiss he’s giving her. Sera allows herself to be selfish one more time, as she cups her hands to cover both of his cheek before they both get lost in the moment.

 

Advertisements

One thought on “(Eng.) Piles of Regrets – Part 8

  1. Seo HaYeon says:

    How to express my feeling after read this?!!
    It’s so beautiful, so meaningful, so painful, and so romantic! so excited! So many kinds of feeling in this part! I still feel like knife stabs my heart when Sera said that she’s like an electric device to charge to support her life 😦 But I am so relief and exticed at the same time when Kyu always on her side! Even I shed my tears knowing their battle.. I erase my tears knowing how beautiful their relationship_Besfriend who always support each other_ GREAT!!

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s