(Eng.) Piles of Regrets – Part 5

Author: Ssihobitt

Category: Short Chaptered, Romance, Sad

Main Cast: Han Sera & Cho Kyuhyun

Supporting Cast: Ok Taecyeon

 

When Han Sera opens her eyes the next morning, she’s surprised by the fact that Cho Kyuhyun is sleeping in a seating position right next to her. She didn’t think he’d spend a night here to watch her, she never gotten that much special attention from anyone but her doctors ever since she got here. And a kind gesture from her old friend is definitely not something she had in mind.

She tries her luck by lifting herself up and succeeds in the first try. Her strength is back now and she feels a lot better than yesterday. Sera takes off Taecyeon’s jacket that she’s been wearing the whole night and covers Kyuhyun’s body in it. He’s already sleeping in a super uncomfortable position, he doesn’t need to be cold also.

He awakes in alert once Sera places the jacket on him, he opens his eyes and amazes by her beautiful face that’s now displayed in front of him.

“Good morning.” Sera greets him.

Kyuhyun blinks several times in order to collect his soul. “How are you?” He wipes his eyes and cracks his tired bones.

“Better, I can speak now.” She leans her back to the pillows behind her. “I didn’t know you’d stay. You could’ve sleep on the little couch over there.” She points the sofa on the corner of the room, “it seems more comfortable than the chair.”

“Woah, you definitely speak better.” He gets up and stretch himself more. He’s not gonna lie, his sleeping position last night was the worse one he had. “Shall I call a doctor to check on your progress?”

Sera shakes her head. “They usually do their morning rounds anyway.” She pulls her blanket closer. “About yesterday, thanks again.”

“I kinda feel obligated to take care of you.”

Sera seems to understand what he means. She’s sure Kyuhyun thought she crashed because she’s too shock to see him. It was right in a way, she was fine until he entered her room, but she doesn’t want him to feel guilty.

“Hey, what happened yesterday wasn’t because of you, Kyuhyun-ssi. I was already feeling bad the whole day.” She tries to mutter a white lie.

“I don’t get it, how could they let a patient out of their sight. You went outside of this hospital for god’s sake.”

She gives him her biggest grin. “I’ve been staying here for more than a year, I know when the security is the most lacking. I just slipped out in the right time.”

“Don’t do that. No more sneaking around Han Sera, you could’ve collapsed on the street.” He suddenly feels like he has a say in this.

Sera chuckles and realizes how much she missed him, her best friend that always afraid to break the rules. “You haven’t changed much, Kyu. Still the goody two shoes.”

“And you’re still the reckless irresponsible childish girl as always.” He rolls his eyes. “Do you even care about your health at all?”

“Did you just snap at me?”

“Ne! Did you know how it was for me to see you fainted after you’re running out of breath yesterday? Or how it felt when I saw those doctor charged you with electric current? Or be told that you’re an expecting transplant patient?” He storms his frustration at her. “I thought you’re gonna die yesterday, Sera-ya.”

“I thought that’s what you want.” Her answer was short but hits home.

“You think I hate you to the point I enjoy watching you dying?”

“You clearly enjoyed meddling into my divorce business.”

“I didn’t know it was you…”

“Bullshit. You knew it was us and you make sure to enjoy each and every moment to bring me down.” Now she’s the one that’s on fire, both of them notice Sera’s heart monitor beeping faster the hotter their argument become.

He raises his hand as a sign of giving up to her, avoiding any medical drama if he can.

“Did you tell him?” Sera can’t help not to ask her deep curiosity.

“I told you, I promised not to tell him about last night.”

“Not about that, I mean about us. Did he know that we knew each other?”

Kyuhyun sits back on his chair. He studies her face closely and shakes his head. “Do you think I could accuse you comfortably if he knew we were once best friend?”

She lifts her shoulder. “Am I forgiven yet?”

“Ne?”

“I must have done something very bad to you. A sin that makes you turn your back to me, you didn’t attend my wedding, you changed your contact number, you avoid me in any way possible since we got back to Seoul, and as a climax to this, you happily volunteered to become my husband—ex-husband—divorce lawyer and made sure I don’t get a dime for my alimony…”

“I didn’t know you demanded that much money for treatment. If you told me earlier I would’ve influence him to give you at least half of what you’re asking.” A guilty feeling rush into him one more time.

“That’s not the point, Kyu. What’s done is done.” She takes another deep breath. “You have to tell me if I’ve made a mistake, that’s the only way I can apologize and try not to repeat the same mistake.”

“You know your mistake, Han Sera. You know it very well.”

“Because I got engaged?” She’s raising her voice, she can’t believe she needs his approval first before deciding who’s she’s going to marry. “Look, it happened during my vacation, somehow it felt right and…”

“Because you broke my heart.” He cuts her sentence, surprised by his own blunt honesty.

Sera’s mouth close shut at once. She used to guess if Kyuhyun had feelings for her but she never crossed the line that leads to a misunderstanding.

Their instant awkwardness interrupts by the doctors that’s coming into her room.

“How are you today, Han Sera-ssi?” Doctor Song greets her. Even the group of doctors that enter the room can feel the awkward atmosphere in it. “I hope we’re not interrupting something.” Doctor Song begins the routine procedure, checking Sera’s pupil dilatation, pulse, heart rhythm, body temperature, and so on.

“I have a good news for you, you’re now on the top priority list for a heart transplant.” Doctor Kim smiles warmly to Sera.

“Really? But what if I lost it again? I was prepped for transplant the last time also, doctor.” She doesn’t look so exited the way her doctor hoped she’ll be.

The team of doctors look at each other and the interns pretend to be busy writing down something on their notes.

“We’ll get it this time Han Sera-ssi. I told your husband yesterday,” he points to Kyuhyun—which Sera and Kyuhyun chose to ignore, “that you are now on Status-1, that means you should be expecting a new heart at least the next three months.”

Sera scoffs cynically. “If a matching donor lose their life within that period of time.”

“Well, yes, but you’re not too far away from the actual operation. Let’s keep a positive attitude while we’re waiting for your new heart.” Doctor Kim ignores Sera’s cynical tone.

“We already scheduled an MRI for you this afternoon. The nurse will prep you later.” Doctor Song jumps into the conversation. “Since you already get better, we don’t need to move you into the CICU.”

Sera nods along. “Thank you doctors.” And bow a little to show respect.

“Be positive Sera –ssi. Fighting!” Doctor Kim tries to keep her spirit up. He and the rest of the doctors bow at her and Kyuhyun before they get out of the room.

“What did you mean you lost it?” Kyuhyun speaks as soon as the door closed.

“It’s a long story.”

He pulls his chair closer to Sera’s bed and rest his elbow on her mattress. “I have time.”

“Don’t you have work to attend to?” She curiously wonders why her friend still lingers.

“I’m taking a leave.”

Sera points her finger at her own face. “For me? You’re taking a leave for me?” She can’t believe what he’s doing.

Kyuhyun nods firmly. “So in return please explain everything to me. I need to know Sera-ya.”

“So you can use it against me later on?”

“So I can help you.” He stares at her with the warm look he used to give her a long time ago. “Don’t push me away this time, let me help.”

Sera has to turn her gaze from him to stall the time. She doesn’t feel like sharing at the moment, she hasn’t got over her disappointment and fear yet. But why Sera feels like she can trust Kyuhyun? Despite the fact he’s been trying to tackle her down last month, she can actually feel his sincerity. This is Cho Kyuhyun after all, her best friend.

“If you’re so curious, I guess I can share.” She’s giving up. “Can we talk elsewhere? This room is kinda depressing for me.”

“Have you forgotten?” Kyuhyun points the heart monitor next to her, “I don’t think we can take that machine out for a walk, can we?”

Sera smirks. “Witty. As always.”

 

*

Ok Taecyeon will do anything to get out of this stupid meeting his parents have arranged for him. He knows what this is about, his parents have been trying to match him up with an heiress from another reach family for a while—even when Sera’s still holds the title as his wife. He can’t comprehend his parents’ intention of doing this so soon, it’s only a month after he’s single again and he’s not over his previous marriage yet. How could he? He was married to the girl of his dream, the girl that managed to play with his heart even until the last minute of their marriage.

He stays true to his divorce agreement, he got out of their apartment right away and move into his new place that’s bigger. For all he knew is Han Sera now living peacefully in their old apartment. He never dared to check on her even though he really wants to.

There was time when he wished he could just go back to that place to meet Sera, beg her to return to him and forget everything behind them. He used to think Sera would try to contact him for afternoon coffee to catch up on their current life. But he knows it’ll be too awkward for them to do that. He’s the one that filed the divorce paper after all and Sera kept her promise not to bother him with anything ever again.

“You can’t mess with this one.” His mother breaks his daydream.

Taecyeon choose not to respond to his mother, it will be the same just like another match making meeting she’s arranged for him anyway. A girl from a rich family that’s been thought perfect manner by her parents. He’s sure this girl he’s about to meet has great portfolio with her.

“You will be excited once you meet her. She’s prettier than your ex-wife, she’s going to be a pediatrician soon enough, she studied abroad and has held several charities. Her concern are children with disabilities. Pretty face with a heart of an angel, perfect don’t you think?” His mother tries to promote her new candidate.

Taecyeon rolls his eyes. “She can’t be prettier than Sera.”

His mother slaps him on his thigh. “Aish! Forget that wench! She messed you up for a long time, it’s time for you to move on!”

Their car stops in front of the lobby of an international hotel. The doorman opens the door for both of them then allow the guest to enter. Taecyeon check his reflection on the car window before he lets his mother hangs her hand in between his arm.

Taec’s mom leads them into the fancy restaurant on the second floor, she points her name at the guest book and follow the waiter inside to their designated seat. Apparently their guest is already there waiting for them.

Anyeonghaseyo, I’m sorry to make you wait.” She bows to the old lady that’s accompanying her daughter in this blind date.

Anyeonghaseyo, it’s okay. Please let me introduce you to my daughter, this is Im Yoona.”

The girl stands up and smiles politely. She’s wearing a navy A line dress, the dress tailored perfectly to the length of her thigh, extenuate her long beautiful legs. She completes her look with a simple silver heels that makes her look even taller than she already is. She looks at Taecyeon and knows that she’s in trouble already.

Taecyeon’s too amazed with the sight in front of him. His mother was right, she’s match making him with a girl that’s totally his type. For a second—just a second, after a long time, he can forget about Han Sera.

“Ah! This is my son, Ok Taecyeon.” His mother push his back to forces him to bow.

Anyeonghaseyo. Pleased to meet you.” He spreads his charming smile that instantly makes Yoona’s heart skip a beat.

 

*

“So where should I begin my story?” Sera crosses her legs and hugs the big unicorn plushy to find a comfortable position.

“The beginning. How did it happen to you? As long as I knew you, you’re the hyperactive kind of girl that has no problem with your heart. Something must have happened Sera-ya.”

Sera takes a deep breath; she closes her eyes while picturing the awful experience she went through more than a year ago.

“It all began more than a year ago.” She begins her story.

 

Sera’s telling Kyuhyun about her happy marriage with Taecyeon years ago. To her it was like a dream to be married to a man that can balance out her crazy ideas yet still managed to tamed her down.

In the third year of their marriage, Sera and Taecyeon was blessed with her pregnancy. It was something they both are very excited about; they’re picturing the mini version of themselves. It all went well for both of them and Sera never had any difficulties during the pregnancy.

One day during winter time, Sera went to buy some groceries because Taecyeon requested her to cook something special to entertain his mother that’s coming to visit them the next day. He also promised Sera that he’ll pick her up since he didn’t want Sera to lift heavy groceries all by herself.

After Sera finished shopping, she called Taecyeon and he asked her to wait by the pavement to make it easier for him to fetch her. It was only a few meters from the store to the pavement, but that distance was the beginning of their problems.

During winter time, the snow sometimes melted when the weather gets warmer and the melted snow turns into a thin layer of ice once the temperature goes down. This create a slippery road to walk on if not taken care of immediately. That night, Taecyeon picked Sera as promised, she saw his car coming closer and she got out of the store. A few steps later, she slipped and fell hard onto the pavement.

She felt the massive pain in her abdomen and she could barely breath at the time, Taecyeon parked the car and came to help Sera to get up from the ground, but he was shock when he saw Sera’s already covered in blood. He called 119 immediately and ran his wife to the hospital right away. Sera made it through the night with the consequences of losing the baby.

 

“Because I was unconscious that time, they opened me up with C-section and took my baby out.” Sera’s starts tearing up. “My baby boy who’s barely 5 months old, they took him out of me because he couldn’t survive the hit.”

Kyuhyun fells like somebody just squeeze his heart. He’s fighting his tears from falling. He never knew Sera went through that kind of horrible experience.

“I was perfectly healthy until I wasn’t.” Sera continues. “After the miscarriage, I sometimes experience shortness of breath and massive pain in my chest. So in the routine post-surgery check-up I told my OB/GYN about that. Later I was diagnosed with preeclampsia that sometimes happens to 5% of pregnant woman.”

Kyuhyun listening to her attentively, although he has a lot of question in his mind, he’d like to let Sera finishes her story first. Somehow he knows it takes big courage from her to be able to tell him everything that’s been bothering her.

“After the diagnosis, I was assigned to see doctor Kim and I did the pre-test to see if my heart is in a good condition or not. After the result came out, doctor Kim said I was lucky to recognize the condition very soon, therefore I can be treated. However, the more they look into my chart, the more they found out what’s wrong with it. My left ventricle is scarred and I need an immediate handling.”

Sera controls her breathing before continuing with her story.

“The condition back at home wasn’t so good either. I knew he’s mad at me for losing our baby. He couldn’t even stand being at the same room with me for more than ten minutes. He’d always find a reason to get out of the house, he’d come home very late and drunk then left very early in the morning.” Sera puts her hand on her chest as she begins to feel the familiar pain strikes. “It was the time when I needed his support the most, but he clearly acted like he hated me.”

“Han Sera, are you okay, is your heart in pain now? We can stop.” Kyuhyun begins to worry whenever Sera starts touching her chest.

She shakes her head and go on. “It not my actual heart that hurts, it’s my ‘other heart’ if you know what I mean.” More tears flow from her eyes. “During my treatment I spent a night in the hospital without coming home. I didn’t tell him about this because I was hoping he’ll look for me, but my phone never rang and the next day, he acted like nothing happened. So I figured he didn’t care anymore.”

“Few months after my pre-test, doctor Kim suggest me to do an operation to fix my heart, but he assigned the doctor in the USA to do the operation for me, because they’re more experienced. I didn’t know how to tell him all these and I figured he wouldn’t care anyway, so I left. I went to New York to get my treatment and as you already figured out, I used the method of purchasing items then returning them back to get cash without him being suspicious.”

“But you’re missing for a year Han Sera.” He can’t wrap his head around that missing fact he can’t put in the puzzle he already has.

“I was treated for three weeks in New York, the doctor said that my left ventricle was too damaged to be operated. He suggested me to enter the organ transplant list because the only way to help me is a new heart, that’s why there’s a bill for almost one million US dollar in his card, insurance doesn’t cover organ transplant and I was so depressed—that’s my only way out that I could think about. So I went back here and received treatment in this very hospital. you have no idea how many minor and major surgery I’ve went through to stay alive, Kyu. I keep asking them when can I go home? Because I miss him, I don’t care if he hates me I just miss him so much.”

Sera hugs the unicorn plushy that Taecyeon bought her from their last date tighter, she can’t believe what she’s doing at the moment. She’s revealing everything to Kyuhyun, somebody that she’s not too sure to trust to.

“Good news came for me in the end, they said I was about to get a new heart and after some adjustment I’d be able to go home. So when the day comes, they prepped me into surgery and brought me to the operation room. I was that close to be cured Kyuhyun-a, but then that heart was taken away from me. Because somebody else was in status-1A which means she’s in a more critical condition and she’d definitely dies without the new heart.”

Kyuhyun can no longer hold back his tears. He’s sad for what she went through but what makes him cry is not her story, it’s his shame. He couldn’t believe himself for being so mean to her before. Maybe he should’ve listened to her first before he judges her wrongdoings.

“I demanded to be allowed to go home after the failed surgery, I’d like to risk it as long as I’m able to meet him. Can you imagine being hospitalized for more than a year without anyone being by my side? It’s scary Kyuhyun-a, it’s scary. And most of the night I’d cry because I couldn’t take the pain—the literal pain and the figurative pain. So I came home and you know the rest of the story. I don’t like the way our story ended, but at least I still got to bid a good farewell to him. My only regret is that I didn’t get to tell him what I feel about him, I’m too ashamed of what I’ve done and I feel like I don’t deserve to tell him how much I love him.”

Sera notices Kyuhyun’s crying next to her, so she automatically lifts her hand and wipe his tears from his face. “I hope you’re not crying because of my story Kyuhyun-a.”

He takes her hand that’s on his face and hold it tight. “I didn’t know Sera-ya. I didn’t know. Forgive me for being so mean to you. I feel like an idiot right now” He lifts his hand and wipe Sera’s tears. “You should’ve told him about this Han Sera. I’m sure he’ll help you.”

Sera shakes her head. “I don’t want him to feel like he must take responsibility over my misfortune, Kyuhyun-a. It happened after my miscarriage. If he knew that, he’d feel guilty for not being there for me, and I don’t want him to blame himself for what happened. If he knows what I have to go through, he’ll get scared Kyuhyun-a, he doesn’t handle bad news very well. So please don’t tell him what you found out about me, I want him to remember me as a happy and healthy girl the way he should always remember me.”

Kyuhyun gets up from his seat and approaches Sera closer. He pulls her towards himself and hold his long lost best friend closely on his chest.

“Forgive me Han Sera, I was blinded by my own contempt towards you that I didn’t get to catch up with you. I didn’t know you had to went through it all alone.”

Sera let herself leans on his chest, she’s relieve to finally able to tell somebody about her condition. She’s too tired to carrying it all on her shoulder all alone.

“Forgive me for breaking your heart Kyuhyun-a. I can’t help falling in love with him.”

Kyuhyun taps her shoulder to calm her down. “Water under the bridge, Sera-ya. Just promise me something.” He pushes her a bit to be able to look at her face. “Don’t push me away this time.”

“Kyu…”

“I won’t try winning you over or anything. I just ask you not to push me away from being your friend. Allow me to be on your side while you’re fighting this battle. Can you do that?” He caresses her face softly, anxiously waiting for her answer.

She nods and smiles. “Only if you promise to stop calling me a bitch.”

Kyuhyun rolls his eyes and scoff to hide his shameful expression. “You knew?”

“I know you best, Kyuhyun-a. I know your heart.” She leans her heavy back onto his broad shoulder, completes with a weak smile on her face.

 

 

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3 thoughts on “(Eng.) Piles of Regrets – Part 5

  1. Naya says:

    Can’t wait to know Taecyon’s expression when he heard this news. I don’t want Taec forgot Sera so easily and married Yoona ><

    Like

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